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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Pat W. who wrote (8184)	12/24/1998 10:36:00 AM
From: hcm1943	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62550

Letters to the President >Dear Bill: >As a fellow Southern Baptist, I can sympathize with your predicament. >Although when I was president I merely lusted in my heart, I have to >admit that had I served another term, my lust might have broken free and >moved down my body. God bless you in this time of trial. > Jimmy Carter >--------------------- >Dear Bill: >OK, so I'll never be president, but at least Donna Rice was a babe! > Gary Hart >---------------------- >My Dear Chap: >This is a bit of a sticky wicket, but if I were you, I should ask that >charming Jay Leno fellow to see you through. Pop onto his show, admit >that you made an ass of yourself and all will be forgiven. > Hugh Grant >---------------------- >Bill: >They entrapped me, they framed me, they caught me in a motel with drugs >and a prostitute, but I bounced back and so can you! Bitch done set us >up! > Mayor Marion Berry >---------------------- >Dear Bill: >Look at the bright side. At least you weren't caught wearing Monica's >thong underwear. By the way, did you catch my sports show? I'm back on >TV for the fall. > Marv Albert >---------------------- >Dear Mr. President: >You may have noticed that I'm not jumping on the impeachment bandwagon >(note: this was written a week ago). Let me assure you, you're not the >only one in Congress who thinks oral sex isn't really sex. >Warm personal regards, > > Newt >---------------------------- >Dear Bill: >Hang in there, pal! By the way, Kathie Lee sends Hillary her regards >and invites her to come on her show anytime. > Frank Gifford >--------------------------- >Dear Mr. President: >Now I'm on the Supreme Court. I'm here for life! And there's nothing >anyone can do about it! So there! > Justice Clarence (Long Dong) Thomas >-------------------------- >Dear Former Worthy Opponent: >Whoo, Boy! All I can say is, Bob Dole would never have gotten himself >into this mess. Not Bob Dole! Not before Viagra, anyway! > Bob Dole >------------------------- >Dear Mr. President: >I think it's terrible what they are doing to you, and I want you to know >that if you need to get away from it all, you're welcome to >bring Buddy and stay with me on my Wonderland Ranch for as long as you >want. I'll move the Cub Scout Pack to a tent on the lawn and you can >have their room. > Michael Jackson >-------------------------- >Dear Fellow Sinner: >Jesus forgives you and so do I. > Rev. Jimmy Swaggart >------------------------- >Dear Bill: >Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. > Jim Baker >P.S. Jessica sends regards and wants to get together with you sometime. >------------------------- >Dear Bill: >Next time (if there is a next time), don't let them get you on tape. Big >mistake!! > With sympathy, > Rob Lowe >------------------------- >Dear Bill: >If I survived wanting to be a tampon, you can survive the cigar bit. >Things were grim for a while, but now it looks like I might actually >manage to marry my darling Camilla, and someday I'll be King! Funny how >life turns out. >So keep a stiff upper lip! (And relax everything else, haha! And they >say I don't have a sense of humor) > HRH Charles Windsor, Prince of Wales >------------------------ >Dear Mr. President: >We invite you to be the cover subject of our next issue. > The editors, Cigar Aficionado magazine