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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Bald Man from Mars who wrote (8302)	1/6/1999 6:32:00 PM
From: Fred McCutcheon	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Even if you have some off-topic message, it is customary to also post a joke. TIA ____________________ Ways things would be different if Microsoft was headquartered in South Georgia ------------------------------------------------------------- 1.Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders 2.Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle 3.Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag 4.Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-right" or "Naw" 5.Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos 6.The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse 7.Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling "Freebird!" 8.Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be Achy-Breaky Heart 9.PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt" 10.Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and "Vishul C++" 11.Winders 95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag 12.Microsoft Word would be just that: one word 13.Instead of WWW servers, Microsoft would have KKK servers. 14.New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now!" 15.Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz" 16.Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am 17.Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse 18.Four words: Daisy Dukes Screen Saver 19.Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire 20.Speadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard 21.Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor pull Simulator 22.Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates Fred McCutcheon