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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: TigerPaw who wrote (8313)	1/7/1999 10:34:00 AM
From: Rich Dee	Respond to of 62549

Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says, "Sir, did you call for me?" Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?" She says: "You must be new here; let me explain. It's a rule here that if I give you an erection, it implies you called for me." Smiling, she then leads him to the side of a pool, lays down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her. Bob continues exploring the facilities. He enters a sauna, sits down, and farts. Within a few seconds a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man with a firm erection lumbers out of the steam towards him. The Huge Man says: "Sir, did you call for me?" Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?" The Huge Man: "You must be new here; it is a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me." The huge man then easily spins Bob around, bends him over the bench and has his way with him. Bob rushes back to the colony office. He is greeted by the smiling naked receptionist: "May I help you?" Bob says: "Here is your card and key back. You can keep the $500 joining fee." Receptionist: "But Sir, you've only been here a couple of hours; you only saw a small fraction of our facilities....." Bob replies: "Listen lady, I am 58 years old, I get a hard-on once a month, but I fart 15 times a day. No thanks."

To: TigerPaw who wrote (8313)	1/7/1999 12:16:00 PM
From: Ian@SI	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Is it true that his response to the lawyer was, "I can't kick."? ;-) Although the injury to the man's left leg seemed minor, a blood infection threatened his life unless it could be amputated. They wheeled him into the operating theater and cut as quickly as they could. "Oh My Gosh", said the nurse, "You cut the right leg off instead". With the bad blood racing up his leg the doctor immediately got the left leg amputated in time. In the recovery room the man's lawyer say's "As for the lawsuit, you haven't got a leg to stand on".