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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Messbauer who wrote (8345)	1/9/1999 7:15:00 PM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Respond to of 62549

A young couple were married and celebrated their first night together, doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all night long. Morning comes and the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel when he emerges from the shower. He asks the bride to please bring one from the bedroom. When she gets to the bathroom door, he opened the door, exposing his body for the first time to his bride. Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stopped and stared and she asked shyly, "What's that?" pointing to a small part of his anatomy. He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, "Well, that's what we had so much fun with last night." And she, in amazement, asked, "Is that all we have left?"

To: John Messbauer who wrote (8345)	1/9/1999 7:31:00 PM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Two doctors were joging down a wood path, each arguing as to who was the better doctor. The 1st claimed he was better, then the 2nd. This went on for 30 minutes or so ! Finally the 1st doctor said to the 2nd, "If your so good - then prove it". The 2nd doctor said "ok I will". The 2nd doctor looked around, up and down and saw an owl sitting up in an old oak tree. He said "see that owl", the 1st replied "yes", "I'll give that owl a tonselectomy in 10 minutes" said the 2nd doctor. The 1st doctor encouraged him to try. The clock started ticking, he reached up in the oak tree and grabbed the owl. With a "clip", "snip", and "clip" - the 2nd doctor was done. He proceeded to say, "9 minutes and 15 seconds later, I'm through - beat that!". The 1st doctor then stated that he could beat the 2nd doctor by performing a vasectomy in 5 minutes. He asked the 2nd if he successfully comlpleted the vasectomy in 5 minutes would he be the better of the two doctors. To that the doctored replied "yes". The clock started ticking, he reached up in the oak tree and grabbed the same owl. With a "clip", "snip", "cut", "bang" "stitch" and "clip" - the 1st doctor was done. He completed his operation in a record 3 minutes and 35 seconds. Both doctors went on jogging down the path happy and content as to whom was the better of the two doctors. The next day the owl and mrs. owl were flying along when mrs. owl stated "I'm tired, lets land and rest a while !". mr. owl said "ok !" Mrs. owl looked around and saw (with here keen vision) a wonderful old oak tree to perch on, see stated, "lets land over there on the old oak tree", Mr. owl looked around and saw the oak tree, only to claim, "I'M NOT LANDING THERE". Mrs. owl said "why not", Mr. owl again claimed "I'M NOT LANDING THERE". This went on for some time ! Mrs. owl said, "tell me why you don't want to land there or we're going to !". Mr. owl said; "Well, ever since I landed in that old oak tree yesterday, I can't hoot worth a fk or fk worth a hoot.