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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Peter S. Maroulis who wrote (1123)	1/9/1999 3:12:00 PM
From: Karin	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 2733

Good Excuse- The lovers passionately embraced while lying on her bed. Their bodies fused together as they gyrated and panted. Then, suddenly the woman cocked her ear. "Quick, my husband is coming through the front door. Hide in the bathroom", she cried. The lover ran into the bathroom as she hid his clothes under the bed. Just as she turned back, her husband came through the bedroom door. "What are you doing lying naked on the bed?" he asked. "Darling, I heard you coming up the drive way and got ready to receive you" she replied with a wink and a smile. "Great" he said, "I'll just run into the bathroom and I'll be with you in two shakes." She panicked. Before she could stop him, he was in the bathroom. He found a man clapping his hands together in mid air. Dumfounded, he asked, "Who the devil are you?" "I'm from the exterminator company. Your wife called me in to get rid of these pesky moths" the lover replied. The husband yelled, "But, you've got no clothes on!!!" The lover looked down at his body, jumped backward in surprise and said, "The little bastards!"

To: Peter S. Maroulis who wrote (1123)	1/9/1999 9:31:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Read Replies (4) \| Respond to of 2733

I'd put my wife on a pedestal, but I don't have the money to rent a crane. Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young. One of these days, my kids are going to understand "Because I said so" is a perfectly good answer. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Draft will begin production in Canada this year. When Clinton was asked what he thought about foreign affairs, he replied, "I don't know. I never had one." If you came across Bill Clinton drowning in a raging river and you had a choice between rescuing him or getting a Pulitzer prize-winning photograph, what shutter speed would you use? Chelsea asked her dad, "Do all fairy tales begin with once upon a time...? " Bill Clinton replied, "No. Some begin with 'I want to make myself perfectly clear...'" Clinton's mother prayed fervently that Bill would grow up and be president. So far, half of her prayer has been answered. The American Indians have nicknamed Bill Clinton as "Walking Eagle" because he is so full of shit that he can't fly. Isn't putting Bill Clinton in charge of a trust fund as insane as putting a draft-dodger as Commander in Chief? Clinton only lacks three things to become one of America's finest leaders: Integrity, vision, and wisdom. Asked about his views on euthanasia, Clinton replied, "They're just like kids in the United States or Europe." Clinton is doing the work of 3 men: Moe, Larry and Curley.