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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Peter S. Maroulis who wrote (8364)	1/11/1999 6:25:00 PM
From: N	Respond to of 62549

Here's a bipartisan offering after the Quayle jokes... It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in grades and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless because of this. The teacher says, "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today." Little Johnny says to himself, "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question." The teacher asked, "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Susie said, "Abraham Lincoln." The teacher said, "That's right Susie, you can go home." Johnny was MAD that Susie had answered the question first. The teacher asked another question, "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, "Martin Luther King." The teacher said, "That's right Mary, you can go." Johnny was even madder than before. The teacher asked, "Who said 'Ask not what your country can do for you'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Nancy said, "John F. Kennedy". The teacher said, "That's right Nancy, you may also go now." By now, Johnny was BOILING mad that he had not been able to answer to any of the questions. Then the teacher turned her back and Johnny blurted out, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!!!" The teacher turned around and asked, "WHO SAID THAT?" Johnny said, "BILL CLINTON. CAN I GO NOW?"

To: Peter S. Maroulis who wrote (8364)	1/12/1999 10:39:00 AM
From: The Rabbit	Respond to of 62549

Here's the way I heard it... ----- (to paraphrase the referenced joke, a young REDNECK couple are having difficulty on their wedding night. Each keeps sneaking off to call their parents for advice.) . . . His father replies, "Look at her naked body. Then, take the thing that you play with and put it where she pees!" A few moments later, the girl again calls her mama. "What do I do now?" she asks. "Well, what is he doing?" mama asks. "He's in the bathroom, putting his bowling ball in the sink!"