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Politics : Did Slick Boink Monica? -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: ManyMoose who wrote (19737)	1/13/1999 1:07:00 AM
From: ManyMoose	Respond to of 20981

Just for fun: Who's there? inquired St. Peter Tis I, your lordship, President Bill Clinton. And what is it you want? asked St. Peter Well, I wanna come in, of course, replied Clinton Soooo, pondered Peter, What bad things did you do on earth? Clinton thought a bit and then answered. Well, I smoked marijuana, but you shouldn't hold that against me because I didn't inhale, and I guess I sort of had extramarital sex, but you shouldn't hold that against me because I didn't really have ‘sexual relations', and I lied, but I didn't commit perjury. After several moments of deliberation, St. Peter replied Ok, here's what we'll do. We'll send you someplace where it's very hot, but we won't call it Hell. You'll be there for an indefinite period of time, but we won't call it an eternity. and you don't have to abandon all hope upon entering, but don't hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over.

To: ManyMoose who wrote (19737)	1/13/1999 1:23:00 AM
From: ManyMoose	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 20981

Ya gotta read to the last line for the punch. I can vouch for the truth of the part regarding Alaskans. > Weather Humor >A Little Weather Humor..... >65 degrees - Californians put their sweaters on. >60 degrees - Miami residents turn on the heat. >45 degrees - Vermont residents go to outdoor concert. >40 degrees - You can see your breath > Californians shiver uncontrollably > Minnesotans go swimming. >35 degrees - Italian cars don't start. >32 degrees - Water freezes. >30 degrees - You plan your vacation in Australia. >25 degrees - Ohio water freezes > Californians weep pitiably > Minnesotans eat ice cream > Canadians go swimming. >20 degrees - Politicians begin to talk about the homeless > New York City water freezes > Miami residents plan vacation farther south. >15 degrees - French cars don't start > cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you. >10 degrees - You need jumper cables to get the car going. Alaskans go swimming (I can prove it!) >5 degrees - American cars don't start. >0 degrees - Alaskans put on T-shirts. >-10 degrees - Californians disappear - German cars don't start > eyes freeze shut when you step outside. >-15 degrees - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo > Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects > Miami residents cease to exist > -20 degrees - Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you > politicians actually do something about the homeless > Minnesotans shovel snow off roof > Japanese cars don't start. >-25 degrees - Too cold to think > you need jumper cables to get the driver going. > -30 degrees - You plan a two week hot bath > Swedish cars don't start. > -40 degrees - Minnesotans button top button > Canadians put on sweater > your car helps you plan your trip South. >-50 degrees - Congressional hot air freezes > Alaskans close the bathroom window. > -80 degrees - Polar bears move South > Green Bay Packer fans order hot cocoa at the game. > -90 degrees - Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets. >-100 degrees - Hell freezes over > Clinton finally tells all. > >