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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: hcm1943 who wrote (8395)	1/14/1999 9:05:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Respond to of 62549

A man returns from the Middle East and is feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the Hospital in to under go tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. "This is your doctor. We've had the results back from your tests and we've found you have an extremely nasty STD called G.A.S.H. It's a combination of Gonorrhea, AIDS, Syphilis, and Herpes!" "Oh my gosh," cried the man, "Dr. Diamond! What are you going to do?" "Well we're going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread." "Will that cure me???" asked the man. The doctor replied, "Well no, but...it's the only food we can get under the door." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The lovers passionately embraced while lying on her bed. Their bodies fused together as they gyrated and panted. Then, suddenly the woman cocked her ear. "Quick, my husband is coming through the front door. Hide in the bathroom", she cried. The lover ran into the bathroom as she hid his clothes under the bed. Just as she turned back, her husband came through the bedroom door. "What are you doing lying naked on the bed?" he asked. "Darling, I heard you coming up the drive way and got ready to receive you" she replied with a wink and a smile. "Great" he said, "I'll just run into the bathroom and I'll be with you in two shakes." She panicked. Before she could stop him, he was in the bathroom. He found a man clapping his hands together in mid air. Dumfounded, he asked, "Who the helll are you?" "I'm from the exterminator company. Your wife called me in to get rid of these pesky moths" the lover replied. The husband yelled, "But, you've got no clothes on!!!" The lover looked down at his body, jumped backward in surprise and said, "The little bastards!"