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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: stevie who wrote (8401)	1/14/1999 9:20:00 AM
From: Ian@SI	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

yah, and their wives drowned while cooking it.

To: stevie who wrote (8401)	1/19/1999 8:53:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Respond to of 62549

A Businessman taking a seminar on efficiency completed a case study of his wife's routine for fixing breakfast, and presented the results to the class. "After a few days of observation, I quickly determined the practices that were robbing her of precious time and energy," the man reported. "taking note of how many trips she made to the kitchen to the dining room carrying just one item, I suggested that in the future she carry several items at a time." "Did it work?" the teacher asked. "It sure did," replied the businessman. "Instead of taking her 20 minutes to fix my breakfast, it now take ME just seven." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car. So they did. They drove it home and parked it in the street between their establishments. A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw the priest sprinkling water on their new car. It didn't need a wash, so he ran out and asked the priest what he was doing. "I'm blessing it," the priest replied. The rabbi replied "Oh," then he ran back into the synagogue. He reappeared a few minutes later with a hack saw., He then ran to the car and cut off the last 2 inches of the tailpipe. ... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two goats are out behind a movie studio eating old movie film. One goat says to the other, "Pretty good, huh?" The second goat says, "Yeah, . . . but it's not as good as the book." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An old italian couple is walking around in the all. After a while hey get separated so the woman goes up to the first saleswoman she sees and ask: "Escusa me, have you senn-a me Tony. He's got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?" The saleswoman answers that she hasn't seen her husband. So the Italian woman goes to aks another saleswoman: "Escusa me, have you senn-a me Tony. He's got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?" "No, I'm sorry maam, I haven't seen your husband." The Italian woman goes to see one more saleswoman and ask: "Escusa me, have you senn-a me Tony. He's got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?" The saleswoman answers: "Yes I saw him, he ran out of here lickety split." To which the Italian woman answers: "No no no, that's not-a my tony, he pinch- a the bum, grab-a the breasts but he no lickety split!"