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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Mike 2.0 who wrote (8521)	1/21/1999 10:52:00 AM
From: Jack Colton	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

A new arrival in Hell was brought before the devil. The devil told his demon to put the man to work on a rock pile with a 20-pound sledge hammer in 95 degree heat with 95% humidity. At the end of the day, the devil went to see how the man was doing, only to find him smiling and singing as he pounded rocks. The man explained that the heat and hard labor were very similar to those on his beloved farm back in Georgia. The devil told his demon to turn up the heat to 120 degrees, with 100% humidity. At the end of the next day, the devil again checked on the new man, and found him still happy to be sweating and straining. The man explained that it felt like the old days, when he had to clean out his silo in the middle of August on his beloved farm back in Georgia. At that, the devil told his demon to lower the temperature for this man to -20 degrees with a 40 mph wind. At the end of the next day, the devil was confident that he would find the man miserable. But, the man was instead singing louder than ever, twirling the sledge hammer like a baton. When the devil asked him why, he was so happy, the man answered, "Cold day in hell, the Falcons must have won the Super Bowl!"

To: Mike 2.0 who wrote (8521)	1/21/1999 10:56:00 AM
From: larscot	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

I apologize if someone has already posted this, but this was too good to ignore. THE WASHINGTON HILL BILLIES > > Well dere once was a story 'bout a man named Bill; > Da poor president couldn't keep his willie still; > Den one day he was workin; at his desk, > When in walks Monica and shows da boy her chest... > > Boobs, that is. Two of 'em. Bodacious ta ta's. > > Well da next thing you know, Monica is on her knees. > Mouth open wide and as happy as you please; > Bill sez, "oh yeah now-don't say a thing." > "If you do a good job then we'll have a little fling." > > Blow job, that is. Phalli osculation. > > Well, Bill lost his load and it fell upon her dress, > He said, "Clean it up, 'cuz you reallly are a mess,' > And you're invited here to dis fine locality, > To have a heapin' helpin' of little Willie C." > > Da wiener, that is. Da presidential staff. > > So week after week, Monica is on her knees > Keepin' Willie and his Wiener just as happy as you please, > But then she figured out dat the fling had gone too far, > And she blabbed it all to Linda Tripp who blabbed it all to Starr. > > Bad girl, that is. Cigars. Bodacious ta ta's. > > Well it weren't too long till we all knew the score, > 'bout da stuff dat went down behind da oval office door, > Da country's in da toilet and da people cry, "No More" > But if we oust da cheatin' jerk, den we gotta live with Gore. > > Boob, that is. Great big one. Head stuck up his rear. > > So now ya know da story 'bout Bill our president > Wonderin' if dis fling's gonna cost him every cent' > So da moral of da story is to do it quietly, > And stay outta trouble with dat bitch named Hiliary.