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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Messbauer who wrote (1198)	1/22/1999 12:09:00 AM
From: Karin	Read Replies (4) \| Respond to of 2733

Stolen Car A man walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A Cop on the beat sees him, and approaches, "Can I help you, sir?" "Yesssh! Ssssshomebody ssshtole my car!" the man replies. The Cop asks, "Where was the car the last time you saw it?" "It wassss at the end of thisss key!" the man replies. About that time the Officer looks down to see that the man's "thing" is hanging out of his fly for all the world to see. He asks the man, "Sir, are you aware that you are exposing yourself?" The man looks down woefully and without missing a beat, moans "OHHH GOD.....they got my girlfriend too!!!"

To: John Messbauer who wrote (1198)	1/22/1999 10:26:00 PM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Respond to of 2733

Top 10 List Of Songs To Replace "Hail To The Chief" When Introducing President Clinton: 10 - "Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies" by Fleetwood Mac 9 - "Afternoon Delight" by Star Land Vocal Band 8 - "Your Cheatin' Heart" by Hank Williams 7 - "Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places" 6 - "Jive Talkin'" by the Bee Gees 5 - "Honesty (is Such a Lonely Word)" by Billy Joel 4 - "(You Can't Hide Your) Lying Eyes" by The Eagles 3 - "Ocean Front Property (in Arizona)" by George Strait 2 - "I'd Lie to You for Your Love" by The Bellamy Brothers 1 - "Devil in the Blue dress by Mitch Ryder & the Detroit Wheels or Devil in the Blue Gap dress

To: John Messbauer who wrote (1198)	1/22/1999 10:34:00 PM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

Top Five Reasons Why Computers Must Be Female 5. No one but their creator understands their internal logic. 4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference. 3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 2. The message, "Bad command or filename" , is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you." 1. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.