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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Messbauer who wrote (1203)	1/22/1999 9:35:00 PM
From: Karin	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 2733

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that. * * * * * * * At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man." * * * * * * * After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice." * * * * * * * A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted." Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." * * * * * * * The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?" * * * * * * * A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying." * * * * * * * Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son. * * * * * * * Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late." * * * * * * * The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it. * * * * * * * Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. * * * * * * * If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. * * * * * * * Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. * * * * * * * You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she. * * * * * * * Personally, I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as both husband and father, I can say anything I want to around the house. Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention. * * * * * * * How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free. * * * * * * * The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. * * * * * * * Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute. * * * * * * * First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." * * * * * * * Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful. Karin