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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Mike 2.0 who wrote (8567)	1/26/1999 4:22:00 PM
From: MrsNose	Respond to of 62549

These may have been posted before, but here goes: Points for Women to Ponder Why are married women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? They won't stop to ask directions. How does a man show that he is planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer. Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We don't know; it has never happened. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking? They all already have boyfriends. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow. ____________________________________________________________________ Suggestions For the Boss 1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing. 2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke. 3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are. 4. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the priority. I am psychic. 5. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have no where to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work. 6. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information. 7. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received.