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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jack Colton who wrote (8624)	2/7/1999 9:27:00 AM
From: Jill	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

so bad but sooo funny > > > A Polish family is sitting in the living room. The wife turns to > > the > > > husband and says "Let's send the kids out to P-L-A-Y so we can > > fuck. > > > ============ > > > How can you tell the Irish guy in the hospital? He's the one > > blowing > > > the foam off of his bedpan. > > > =========== > > > How can you tell if a girl is a redneck? She can suck a dick and > > chew > > > tobacco at the same time, and know what to spit and what to > > swallow. > > > ============ > > > Why don't Italians have acne? > > > It slides off. > > > ============ > > > Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a black baby? They > > > named him Sum Ting Wong > > > ============ > > > What's the best thing about a blowjob? > > > 10 minutes of peace and quiet. > > > ============ > > > Did you hear they came out with a new Selena doll? Ken and Barbie > > > needed a maid. > > > ============ > > > What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horses ass? A > > > Mechanic. > > > ============ > > > What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than > > the > > > other? A Speech Impediment. > > > ============ > > > What do you call a German tampon? > > > A Twatstika. > > > ============ > > > Definition of a nice Greek Boy.... > > > Greek boy who takes a girl out twice before screwing her brother. > > > > > ============ > > > What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at > > half > > > mast? They're hiring. > > > ============ > > > What do toilets, clitoris, and an anniversary have in common? Men > > miss > > > them all. > > > ============ > > > Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek? Because they're > > not > > > going to work in the future either. > > > =========== > > > Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? > > > He walks around saying "Yo" > > > ============ > > > Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar. > > > ============ > > > How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs? > > NONE- > > > He fell > > > ============ > > > Q. Did you hear Cher is joining the spice girls? > > > A. They're going to call her Old Spice. > > > ============ > > > Q. Why do men like to watch porno movies backward? > > > A. They like the part where the hooker gives the money back. > > > ============ > > > Q. Why do women pierce their bellybutton? > > > A. Place to hang their air freshener. > > > =========== > > > Q. What is the first thing a blonde hears in the morning? > > > A. "See ya." > > > ============ > > > Q. What is the first thing a brunette hears in the morning? > > > A. "Sssshh. I have to call my wife." > > > ============ > > > Q. Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that > > collided? > > > A. The survivors were marooned. > > > ============ > > > Q: What do Jimmy Hoffa and Linda Tripp have in common? > > > A: Nothing... yet. > > > ============ > > > Q: What is the generic name for Viagara? > > > A: Mycoxaphillin > > > ============ > > > Q. What is the difference between driving in the fog and 69-ing? > > > A. When driving in the fog, you can't see the asshole in front of > > you. > ======== Fwd by: Donna McKoy ======== >

To: Jack Colton who wrote (8624)	2/10/1999 4:41:00 PM
From: SJS	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Remember Poppin Fresh? Here's his cousin.... __________________ ENERGIZER BUNNY FOUND DEAD! The world was stunned today by the news of the death of the Energizer Bunny! He was six years old. Authorities believe that death occurred at approximately 8:42 last evening. He is best known as the irritating pink bunny that kept going, and going, and going, "Pinkie" as he was known to his friends and relatives was alone at the time of death. An emergency autopsy was performed early this morning. Chief Medical Examiner, Dura Cell, concluded that the cause of death was acute cardiac arrest induced by sexual over stimulation. Apparently, someone had put Mr. Bunny's batteries in backwards, and he kept coming, and coming, and coming..........