Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Monty Lenard who wrote (1319)	2/7/1999 12:06:00 AM
From: Karin	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 2733

Good Thoughts An Angel wrote: Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. To handle yourself, use your head; To handle others, use your heart. Anger is only one letter short of danger. If someone betrays you once, it's his fault; if he betrays you twice, it's your fault. Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. God gives every bird it's food, But He does not throw it into it's nest. He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses more; He who loses faith, loses all. Beautiful young people are acts of nature, But beautiful old people are works of art. Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself. The tongue weighs practically nothing, But so few people can hold it. Friends, you and me.... you brought another friend... and then there were 3... we started our group... Our circle of friends... and like that circle... there is no beginning or end.. . * . (\ *** /) * . * * . * ( \ (_)/ ) * Guardian Angel * . . (_ / \|\| \ _) . * . . * . /____\ * . . * Here is an angel sent to watch over you...

To: Monty Lenard who wrote (1319)	2/7/1999 12:53:00 AM
From: Mad2	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

The Dog Can Talk A farmer was down on his luck having suffered a bad growing season, lack of crops and poor prices. To make ends meet he decided he'd have to sell his dog - a most intelligent animal. A few days after placing the ad, a man came to see this "intelligent" dog. When asked what the dog could do, the farmer pointed to a stand of trees nearby and informed the man there was a pond on the other side. He turned to the dog and commanded, "Hunt." Immediately the dog took off for the trees, came back a few moments later and barked twice. The farmer said, "He just told me there are two ducks down at the pond." "That's absurd." said the potential buyer. "Dogs can't count. He was probably just barking for the heck of it." Just then a duck flew overhead, descended just past the trees and apparently landed on the pond. "Now send him back and have him count!" said the man. The farmer again commanded "Hunt!" and off went the dog. He came back shortly and barked three times. The buyer finally believed the dog was smart and bought him on the spot. A few days later the man took his new dog out into the woods where he knew there was a pond nearby. He commanded the dog "Hunt!" and the dog took off toward the pond and came back a few minutes later with a stick in it's mouth. He came up to the man swinging the stick wildly around and began humping his leg. "Smart, my ass!" said the new owner and promptly shot the dog. When he got home he immediately called the farmer to complain. "Some dog you sold me! When I told him to 'hunt' he came back waving a stick and started humping my leg so I shot the queer critter." And the farmer replied, "You stupid idiot! He was trying to tell you there were more fucking ducks than you could shake a stick at!"