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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: ToolManInc who wrote (8630)	2/8/1999 12:55:00 PM
From: Sidney Reilly	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

>A fellow was reading the paper one day, lamenting the fact that this doctor >>has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement >>for a guaranteed weight loss program. >> >>"Guaranteed like heck," he thinks to himself. "But lets see what they think >>they can do." He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 10 LB >>weight loss program. >> >>The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he answers, there >>stands before him a voluptuous, athletic 19 year old babe dressed in nothing >>but a pair of Nikes and a sign hanging around her neck. >> >>She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The >>sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." Well, without a second >>thought he takes off after her (who wouldn't). A few miles later, huffing >>and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they >>are through he kisses the girl one last time and thinks to himself, "I like >>the way this company does business." >> >>For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens >>each time. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and, sure enough, he has >>lost 10 pounds. Deciding that he likes his somewhat more slender physique, >>not to mention the method of treatment, he calls the company back and >>subscribes to their 5 day, 20 LB weight loss program. He thinks that losing >>20 pounds in only 5 days seems like a lot, but he is intrigued by what their >>workout schedule might be like this time. >> >>As expected, the next day there comes a knock at his door. When he answers >>it there stands a 22 year old knockout dressed in nothing but a pair of >>Reeboks and a sign hanging around her neck. She is simply stunning, the most >>beautiful woman he has ever seen. She introduces herself as a >>representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can >>catch me, you can have me." He's out the door like a shot. This gal is in >>excellent shape and it takes a while to catch her. But when he does, it is >>worth every cramp and wheeze. She is wonderful, the best he has ever had. >>He is really looking forward to the next four days... >> >>For the next four days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens >>each time, much to his delight. On the sixth day, he weighs himself and, >>unbelievably, he has lost another 20 pounds. "I love this company," he >>thinks to himself, "I never knew losing weight could be so easy and so much >>fun." Feeling much better about himself, he decides to go for broke and >>subscribe to the company's 7 day, 50 pound weight loss program. "Are you >>sure, sir?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous >>program." "Absolutely," says he, "I love your program. I haven't felt this >>good in years!" >> >>The next day there comes a knock at his door and he enthusiastically answers >>it. There stands before him Richard Simmons dressed in nothing but racing >>spikes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I can catch you, I can >>have you." >>