To: Greg Hull who wrote (20670 ) 2/9/1999 11:12:00 PM From: iceburg Read Replies (5) | Respond to of 29386
Well, since the market today naturally made us all a little tense, here is a little Minnesota humor that probably only Minnesotans will appreciate (over half are true for me):YOU MIGHT BE A MINNESOTAN IF. . . You know Green Bay is a place warmer and farther south than you are. Your state pays a bounty for killing the state mascot. You consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through three feet of ice and sitting there all day hoping the food will swim by. You keep the snow tires on your truck all year because it isn't worth taking them off for only four months. You believe that people rushing out on the lakes with their pick-ups in November is nature's way of upgrading the state's gene pool. You are proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation. You like to come in out of the sun when the temperature gets above 72. You KNOW that REAL vehicles have skis in front and a loud motor under your seat. You like the Winter Olympics better than the Summer Olympics. You have ever worn shorts and a jacket at the same time. Your town has an equal number of bars and churches. You go to a high school basketball game, the score is 12-8 at halftime, and you don't think there's anything strange about that. You have ever had an entire telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number. You know how to pronounce Wayzata, Mahtomedi, and Shakopee. You consider Lime Jell-O a highly versatile food: a breakfast dish when it is filled with fruit, a salad when it has shredded carrots and a dab of mayonnaise, and a dessert when topped with coolwhip. You never had to rewind any part of "Fargo" because you missed some of the dialogue. You have always believed that vacation meant "going up north." Your town has an annual festival honoring a fruit, vegetable or your fire department. You know where the "Iron Range" is. Worse yet, you have BEEN there. You thought "Grumpy Old Men" was a documentary. You thank God every morning for not making you an Iowan, Wisconsinite or North/South Dakotan. You believe that bitter cold, a slippery surface and high speed go together in both a sport and on the Interstate. Every time you see moonlight on a lake you think of a dancing bear, and sing, gently, "From the land of sky-blue waters...Hamm's, the beer refreshing. Hamm's, the beer refreshing - Hamm's." You think that 10 degrees is cool, 10 below is getting cold and 30 below ain't bad if there is no windchill. When people ask you what you do in Minnesota in the summer, you reply, "well, if it falls on the weekend we go to the lake."