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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Mike 2.0 who wrote (8654)	2/11/1999 11:17:00 AM
From: Thomas Payne	Respond to of 62549

An Alabama Valentine > > Kudzu is green, > > my dog's name is Blue > > And I'm so lucky > > to have a sweet thang like you. > > > > Yore hair is like cornsilk > > A-flappin in the breeze. > > Softer than Blue's > > And without all them fleas. > > > > You move like the bass, > > Which excite me in May. > > You ain't got no scales > > But I luv you anyway. > > > > You're as graceful as okry > > Jist a-dancin' in the pan. > > Yo're as fragrant as SunDrop > > Right out of the can. > > > > You have all yore teeth, > > For which I am proud; > > I hold my head high > > When we're in a crowd. > > > > On special occasions, > > When you shave yore armpits, > > Well, I'm in hawg heaven, > > I'm plumb outta my wits. > > > > And speakin' of wits, > > You've got plenty fer shore. > > 'Cuz you married me > > Back in '74. > > > > Still them fellers at work > > They all want to know, > > What I did to deserve > > Such a purty, young doe. > > > > Like a good roll of duct tape > > Yo're there fer yore man, > > To patch up life's troubles > > And stick 'em in the can. > > > > Yo're as strong as a four-wheeler > > Racin' through the mud, > > Yet fragile as that sanger > > Named Naomi Judd. > > > > Yo're as cute as a junebug > > A-buzzin' overhead. > > You ain't mean like no far ant > > Upon which I oft' tread. > > > > Cut from the best pattern > > Like a flannel shirt of plaid, > > You sparked up my life > > Like a Rattletrap shad. > > > > When you hold me real tight > > Like a padded gunrack, > > My life is complete; > > Ain't nuttin' I lack. > > > > Yore complexion, it's perfection, > > Like the best vinyl sidin'. > > Despite all the years, > > Yore age, it keeps hidin'. > > > > And when you get old > > Like a '57 Chevy, > > Won't put you on blocks > > And let grass grow up heavy. > > > > Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie > > With a RC cold drank, > > We go together > > Like a skunk goes with stank. > > > > Some men, they buy chocolate > > For Valentine's Day; > > They git it at Wal-Mart, > > It's romantic that way. > > > > Some men git roses > > On that special day > > From the cooler at Kroger. > > "That's impressive," I say. > > > > Some men buy fine diamonds > > From a flea market booth. > > "Diamonds are forever," > > They explain, suave and couth. > > > > But for this man, honey, > > These will not do. > > For you are too special, > > You sweet thang, you. > > > > I got you a gift, > > Without taste nor odor, > > Better than diamonds > > it's a new trollin' motor.

To: Mike 2.0 who wrote (8654)	2/11/1999 11:43:00 AM
From: Thomas M.	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Actually, Falwell has all his facts right. Purple is the gay pride color, triangles are their symbol, and purses are a symbol of femininity in our society. Tom

To: Mike 2.0 who wrote (8654)	2/15/1999 9:25:00 PM
From: Randi	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

OFF TOPIC Okay, I couldn't resist responding. Falwell doesn't particularly represent all the "Religious Conservatives" in this country, just as Bill Clinton (Mr. I did not have sexual relations with that woman) does not represent all the democrats in this country. See them for what they are - both way out in left field. okay, here's my joke: Do you know the definition of eternity? Four blondes, each in a different vehicle, at a 4-way stop.

To: Mike 2.0 who wrote (8654)	2/16/1999 11:58:00 AM
From: Arnie Doolittle	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

OFF TOPIC So you think that Falwell is off base, eh? Then what is your response to this quote from the Washington Times: "homosexual groups from here to London are telling everybody that they've long embraced "Tinky Winky" and his patent-leather purse as their own." And, now for the obligatory joke: People who have knee jerk reactions based on who said what. Content doesn't matter, who said it does. It appears that the TRUTH is that Falwell is right. Whether or not you agree with his religious and/or political views is beside the point. Arnie