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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Sidney Reilly who wrote (30715)	2/12/1999 8:39:00 PM
From: Dayuhan	Respond to of 108807

It really is a question of how big the bruise is and how often the child has bruises, if they are even reported. Yes, a lot of bruising goes undetected, but least most of us are aware that it does happen. We also agree that it is unacceptable and that something should be done about it, though nobody knows what to do about it. How do you measure the bruise caused when a child is not allowed to have any contact with the neighborhood children because their family goes to church on the wrong day? The kids in my house are pretty much my specialty, but I never really thought about how I learned to deal with it. There were no classes, some books, a lot of conversation, but I've always followed my instincts in preference to any advice. Common sense, patience, important. The capacity to love unconditionally, essential. But how many of us have these before we have children? Probably the only effective training is to have had good parents. Scary thought.

To: Sidney Reilly who wrote (30715)	2/12/1999 8:52:00 PM
From: James R. Barrett	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

Sid, most young couples think they are having a puppy instead of a baby. The puppy then grows into a teenage monster who honestly believes his parents are a couple of freaks who wear strange clothes and listen to weird music. Jim

To: Sidney Reilly who wrote (30715)	2/13/1999 7:48:00 PM
From: Grainne	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

<And then a lot of those scarred adults are not able to break the cycle and they in turn abuse their children. Maybe their should be parenting classes. Hey there are already aren't there? How many here have ever attended a class on bringing uo children, or read books on the subject? A show of hands please. BTW, I have read books. They helped, but I take a back seat to my wife. It's her specialty.> In San Francisco many parents take parenting classes. They are offered as extension courses by the local city college, and consist mostly of play groups for very small children, run by child development specialists. I remember having to observe my child and write a bunch of papers. Unfortunately, the parents who have the leisure time and interest to take these classes mostly are pretty good parents already. While they are helpful, they are really enrichment rather than essential. One of the things our local school district is doing is involving extremely poor and uneducated parents in the classroom, starting at kindergarten. There are specialists there as well, to do some assessing of children particularly at risk. They work with parents in stressing the importance of providing a quiet, non-chaotic environment for homework, reading, good nutrition, and regular school attendance. Computers are also given to each child to take home for the school year, which involves the parents in becoming more computer literate.