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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Elmer Flugum who wrote (8683)	2/13/1999 10:15:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Respond to of 62549

A guy boards a plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye. He says to him," hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes, mind if I ask how you got yours?" The first guy answers, "Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the biggest breasts in the world was behind the counter. So, instead of saying I'd like a ticket to Pittsburgh, I said I'd like a picket to Tittsburgh.She socked me one. "The other guy answers, "Mine was a tongue twister too.. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife: Please pour me a bowl of Wheaties. But I accidentally said: "You ruined my life you fucking bitch." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. "Well," said her mother, "so - how was the honeymoon?" "Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language - things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... PLEASE MAMA!" "Sally, Sally," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?" "Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed - they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE !!!" "Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!" Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama...words like: Dust, Wash, Iron, Cook...."