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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (8737)	2/17/1999 3:14:00 PM
From: Tomato	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

> Worst Analogies Ever Written > > 1. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a > guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of > those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country > speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse > without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. > > 2. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a > bowling ball wouldn't. > > 3. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a hefty bag filled > with vegetable soup. > > 4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, > surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and > JEOPARDY comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30. > > 5. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. > > 6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. > > 7. He was as tall as a 6-foot, 3-inch tree. > > 8. Her date was pleasant enough but she knew that if her life was a > movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second > Tall Man." > > 9. The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the > "Dr." on a "Dr Pepper" can. > > 10. John and mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had > also never met. > > 11. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like > underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. > > 12. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across > the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having > left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka > at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. >