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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (1483)	2/19/1999 10:28:00 AM
From: treetopflier	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 2733

So much for the inheritance...holy smokes! A flashy showgirl married a 97 year old retired well-to-do general, largely in the belief that the old codger would never survive the wedding night. While her new husband was in the bathroom, the woman slipped into a black see-through nightgown and struck her most seductive pose on the bed. When the old man finally emerged, she was startled to see that he was stark naked except for earplugs, a clothes pin on his nose and a condom. "Why are you wearing those?" she asked in amazement. "Because if there's anything I just can't stand, " he grumbled, "it's the sound of a woman screaming and the smell of burning rubber"

To: Barney who wrote (1483)	2/19/1999 10:32:00 AM
From: P.S.N.	Respond to of 2733

WARNING MITE BE A OFFENSIVE JOKE IF YOU ARE EASY TO OFFEND DON'T READ ...................................................................... A VIRGIN GIRL GETS MARRIED TO A GUY WHO IS RENOWNED FOR BEING PARTICULARLY WELL ENDOWED. SHE'S A BIT NERVOUS ABOUT THE WEDDING NIGHT AND EXPLAINS THIS TO HER NEW HUSBAND.BEING SYMPATHETIC HE WORKS OUT A WAY AROUND THIS-HE'LL SHOW HER HIS TOOL BIT BY BIT. SO THE WIFE'S LYING IN BED WHEN SHE SUDDENLY SEES THREE INCHES OF HIS TOOL POKING THROUGH THE DOORWAY. "ARE YOU SURE YOUR NOT NERVOUS YET?" HER HUSBAND ASKS . "NO I'M OK" SHE REPLIES. ANOTHER SIX INCHES OF TOOL PROMPTLY COMES THROUGH THE DOORWAY. "ARE YOU STILL OK?" "YES IM STILL OK" SHE REPLIES. WHEN ANOTHER SIX INCHES APPEARS IN THE DOORWAY SHE SAYS "I'M STILL NOT NERVOUS" OK HER HUSBAND REPLIES "THEN I'M COMING UP THE STAIRS NOW!" PSN