Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Hart who wrote (1513)	2/20/1999 10:15:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

Two trees are growing in the woods. One day a sapling grows between them. The first tree asks the other, "Hey, is that a son of a birch, or a son of a beech?" The second tree replies, "I don't know, but here comes a woodpecker, we can ask him." So they ask the woodpecker, "Mr. Woodpecker, you're an expert on trees, is that a son of a birch or a son of a beech?" The woodpecker flies down and tastes a little sap and flies back. He says "Gentlemen. that is neither a son of a birch nor a son of a beech, that is the finest piece of ash I've ever had my pecker in.

To: Hart who wrote (1513)	2/20/1999 10:20:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 2733

Top 10 reasons computers are male... 10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless. 9. A better model is always just around the corner. 8. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home. 7. It is always necessary to have a backup. 6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons. 5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play. 4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. 3. The lights are on but nobody's home. 2. Big power surges knock them out for the night. 1. Size does matter. Here's the quid pro quo: Top 10 reasons compilers must be female... 10. Picky, picky, picky. 9. They hear what you say, but not what you mean. 8. Beauty is only shell deep. 7. When you ask what's wrong, they say "nothing". 6. Can produce incorrect results with alarming speed. 5. Always turning simple statements into big productions. 4. Smalltalk is important. 3. You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong. 2. They make you take the garbage out. 1. Miss a period and they go wild.

To: Hart who wrote (1513)	2/22/1999 1:49:00 PM
From: P.S.N.	Respond to of 2733

Dining Out ******************************************************************** A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away suddenly noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared. After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table." The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "No he didn't. My husband just walked in the door." ********************************************************************PSN