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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: The Rabbit who wrote (1636)	3/3/1999 9:16:00 PM
From: EddieMacG	Read Replies (5) \| Respond to of 2733

Some other signs: In the offices of a loan company....."Ask about our plans for owning your home" !!! In a maternity ward...."NO children allowed" !!!! In a restaurant "Open 7 days a week AND weekends !!!" and my favorite...in a medical building: "MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTER"!!!!

To: The Rabbit who wrote (1636)	3/4/1999 11:17:00 AM
From: P.S.N.	Respond to of 2733

Of corpse ----------------------------------------------------------------------- A man walks into a bar that is trying sponsoring the ultimate off-the-wall politically incorrect contest--dwarf tossing is nothing compared to this! The contest is for the man who brings a wife or girlfriend with the smelliest pussy. Our hero walks up to the stage and tells the M.C. the contest is as good as over; in a minute he will bring in the smelliest pussy in the world! The M.C. says to go ahead and everyone gasps as the man drags in a huge, fat, bloated woman. "Look at her!" says the M.C., "She's so fat and bloated she can't even walk! My God her pussy stinks!" When she reaches the stage the M.C. is ready to concede the contest even before the man pulls up her skirt and drops her panties. When he does this the audience starts gagging and retching right and left! The M.C. hurriedly passes our man the prize money and says "You certainly won this hands down, but tell me: How on earth can you live with the smell of this woman's c**t?" "It's not really that hard. You kind of get used to it." says the winner, "After all, she's been dead about two weeks now!" ----------------------------------------------------------------------- PSN

To: The Rabbit who wrote (1636)	3/4/1999 11:20:00 AM
From: P.S.N.	Respond to of 2733

Little Big Man ----------------------------------------------------------------------- A guy 4'6" tall walks into a bar and orders a drink.then stands up and yells across the bar "Who is the baddest man in here?" This guy 6'4" stands up and says "I am." Well, the little guy goes over and whips the shit out of the big man and leaves. Next day same thing little man orders a drink and proceeds to whip the shit out of the baddest man in the bar and then leaves. This goes on for 2 weeks straight. Finally the bartender decides to do something so he buys a mean man-eating gorilla. Next day the little man comes in orders a drink says "Who's the baddest man here?" Bartender says "he's in the bathroom!" After 10 minutes of screaming and yelling the little guy comes out of the bathroom and tells the bartender "when the guy wakes up tell him his fur coat is in the trash can!" ----------------------------------------------------------------------- PSN

To: The Rabbit who wrote (1636)	3/4/1999 3:54:00 PM
From: Mad2	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a coma for several years. On this visit, he decides to rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. On doing this, she lets out a sigh. The man runs out and tells the doctor who says this is a good sign and suggests he should try rubbing her right breast to see if there is any reaction. The man goes in and rubs her right breast and this brings a moan then he suggests the man should go in and try oral sex, saying he will wait outside as it is a personal act and he doesn't want the man to be embarrassed. The man goes in then comes out about five minutes later, white as a sheet and tells the doctor his wife is dead. The doctor asks what happen to which the man replies: "She choked."