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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Gary E who wrote (8884)	3/8/1999 10:45:00 AM
From: Frederick Meacoe	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Astrology tells us about you and your future simply by your birthday. The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth. Demographics tell us what you like, dislike, whom you vote for, what you buy and what you watch on television. Well, the Corporate Zodiac goes a step further! Simply by your job title, people will have you all figured out.......... MARKETING: You are ambitious, yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing---which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales. SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree", you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with "customers" so you can "concentrate on the big picture". You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life. INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY/MIS: Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand that you are saying, but who the heck can tell?! It is written that the GEEKS shall inherit the Earth. ENGINEERING: One of only two signs that actually studied in school. It is said that 90% of all Personal Ads are placed by engineers. You can be happy with yourself; your office is typically full of all the latest "ergo dynamic" gadgets. However, we all know what IS REALLY causing your "carpal tunnel"....... ACCOUNTING: The only other sign that studied in school. You are mostly immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in the office, causing the majority of rumors saying that you are completely insane. HUMAN RESOURCES: Ironically, given your access to confidental material, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization. Your purpose in life is not to be human, but to be a resource to management. Possibly the only other person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today....because you have to get a haircut, have lunch AND send an E-Mail! MIDDLE MANAGEMENT/DEPARTMENT MANAGEMENT/"TEAM LEADERS": Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers" as everyone in your social circle is a "Middle Manager". SENIOR MANAGEMENT: Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Senior Managers" as everyone in your social circle is a "Senior Manager". CUSTOMER SERVICE: Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own life. As a child, very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service". Continually passed over for promotions,your best bet is to sleep with your manager. CONSULTANT/CONTRACTOR: You are Lucifer incarnate.