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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Gordon A. Langston who wrote (8911)	3/10/1999 2:37:00 PM
From: Elmer Flugum	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62562

New buttons: Well, this day was a total waste of make-up. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after. Do I look like a freakin' people person? If I throw a stick, will you leave? If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat. Does your train of thought have a caboose? Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe? Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them. I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. Adults are just kids who owe money. I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house? I just want revenge. Is that so wrong? It's sick the way you people keep having sex without me. I work 40 hours a week to be this poor. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2? Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? Not all men are annoying. Some are dead. Too may freaks, not enough circuses. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done. A woman's favorite position is CEO. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no. You look like shit. Is that the style now? Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the earth. Is it time for your medication or mine? I plead contemporary insanity. I refuse to star in your psychodrama. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks. It ain't the size, it's..... no wait -- it IS the size. Meandering to a different drummer. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert. I majored in Liberal Arts. Will that be for here or to go?