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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: treetopflier who wrote (1722)3/10/1999 5:47:00 PM
From: Barney  Read Replies (3) | Respond to of 2733
 
This was forwarded to me by my son - just passing on to
my friends here.

>>Pretty awesome.....
>>note the acronym for 'FEAR'
>>This has come at a perfect time!
>>Be blessed my friends!
>>
>>SCROLL DOWN AND CHECK THIS OUT !! :)))
>>
>>
>>> You have to experience this.
>>> The hours the person who created this must have put in.....staggering.
>>> I don't know who should get the credit for creating the original
>>> messages, but I hope you enjoy the fruits of their labor.
>>>
>>> HOLD DOWN THE SCROLL BUTTON AND ENJOY!!!!!
>>>
>>> 1
>>> 1
>>> 1
>>> 1
>>> 1
>>> 1
>>> 1
>>> 1
>>> 1
>>> 1
>>> 1
>>> 1
>>> 1
>>> 1
>>> 1
>>> 1
>>> 1
>>> 1
>>> 1
>>> 2
>>> 2
>>> 2
>>> 2
>>> 2
>>> 2
>>> 2
>>> 2
>>> 2
>>> 2
>>> 3
>>> 3
>>> 3
>>> 3
>>> 3
>>> 3
>>> 3
>>> 4
>>> 4
>>> 4
>>> 4
>>> 4
>>> 4
>>> 4
>>> 4
>>> 4
>>> 4
>>> 4
>>> 4
>>> 4
>>> 4
>>> 4
>>> 4
>>> 4
>>> 4
>>> 4
>>> 4
>>> 4
>>> 4G
>>> 4GO
>>> 4GOD
>>> 4 GOD
>>> 4 GOD
>>> 4 GOD
>>> 4 GOD
>>> 4 GOD
>>> 4 GOD
>>> 4 GOD
>>> 4 GOD
>>> 4 GOD
>>> 4 GOD
>>> GOD
>>> GOD
>>> GOD
>>> GOD
>>> GOD
>>> GOD
>>> GOD
>>> GOD
>>> GODh
>>> GOD h
>>> GOD h
>>> GOD h
>>> GOD h
>>> GOD h
>>> GOD h
>>> GOD h
>>> GOD h
>>> GOD h
>>> GOD h
>>> GOD h
>>> GOD h
>>> GOD h
>>> GODa h
>>> GOD a h
>>> GOD a h
>>> GOD a h
>>> GOD a h
>>> GOD a h
>>> GOD a h
>>> GOD a h
>>> GOD a h
>>> GOD ah
>>> GOD ha
>>> GOD h a
>>> GOD h a
>>> GODs h a
>>> GOD s h a
>>> GOD s h a
>>> GOD s ha
>>> GOD s ha
>>> GOD s ha
>>> GOD s ha
>>> GOD s ha
>>> GOD sha
>>> GOD hsa
>>> GOD has
>>> GOD ha s
>>> GOD ha s
>>> GOD ha s
>>> GODt ha s
>>> GOD t ha s
>>> GOD t ha s
>>> GOD t ha s
>>> GODo t has
>>> GOD o t has
>>> GOD o t has
>>> GOD o thas
>>> GODn o htas
>>> GOD n o hats
>>> GOD n ohast
>>> GOD n hoas t
>>> GOD n haos t
>>> GOD nhaso t
>>> GOD hnas o t
>>> GOD hans o t
>>> GOD hasn o t
>>> GOD has n o t
>>> GOD has n o t
>>> GOD has n o t
>>> GOD has no t
>>> GOD has not
>>> GOD has not
>>> GOD has not
>>> GOD has not
>>> GOD has not
>>> GOD has not
>>> GOD has not
>>> GOD has notn
>>> GOD has noten
>>> GOD has notven
>>> GOD has notiven
>>> GOD has notgiven
>>> GOD has not given
>>> GOD has not given
>>> GOD has not given
>>> GOD has not given
>>> GOD has not given
>>> GOD has not given
>>> GOD has not givens
>>> GOD has not givenus
>>> GOD has not given us
>>> GOD has not given us
>>> GOD has not given us
>>> GOD has not given us
>>> GOD has not given us
>>> GOD has not given us
>>> GOD has not given us
>>> GOD has not given us
>>> GOD has not given us
>>> GOD has not given us
>>> GOD has not given us
>>> GOD has not given us
>>> GOD has not given us
>>> GOD has not given us
>>> GOD has not given us
>>> GOD has not given us
>>> GOD has not given us
>>> GOD has not given us
>>> GOD has not given us
>>> GOD has not given us
>>> GOD has not given us
>>> GOD has not given us
>>> OD has not given us
>>> D has not given us
>>> has not given us
>>> as not given us
>>> not given us
>>> ot given us
>>> given us
>>> ven us
>>> us
>>> s
>>> o
>>> of
>>> of
>>> t of
>>> it of
>>> rit of
>>> irit of
>>> pirit of
>>> spirit of
>>> spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> a spirit of
>>> spirit of
>>> spirit of
>>> pirit of
>>> irit of
>>> rit of
>>> it of
>>> t of
>>> of
>>> of F
>>> f F
>>> F
>>> F
>>> F
>>> F E
>>> F E
>>> F E
>>> F E
>>> F E
>>> F E A
>>> F E A
>>> F E A
>>> F E A
>>> F E A
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> F E A R
>>> FE A R
>>> FaE A R
>>> FalE A R
>>> FalsE A R
>>> FalseE A R
>>> False E A R
>>> False E A R
>>> False E A R
>>> False E A R
>>> False E A R
>>> False E A R
>>> False E A R
>>> False E A R
>>> False E A R
>>> False E A R
>>> False E A R
>>> False E A R
>>> False E A R
>>> False E A R
>>> False E A R
>>> False EA R
>>> False EvA R
>>> False EviA R
>>> False EvidA R
>>> False EvideA R
>>> False EvidenA R
>>> False EvidencA R
>>> False EvidenceA R
>>> False Evidence A R
>>> False Evidence A R
>>> False Evidence A R
>>> False Evidence A R
>>> False Evidence A R
>>> False Evidence A R
>>> False Evidence A R
>>> False Evidence A R
>>> False Evidence A R
>>> False Evidence A R
>>> False Evidence A R
>>> False Evidence A R
>>> False Evidence A R
>>> False Evidence A R
>>> False Evidence A R
>>> False Evidence AR
>>> False Evidence ApR
>>> False Evidence AppR
>>> False Evidence AppeR
>>> False Evidence AppeaR
>>> False Evidence AppearR
>>> False Evidence AppeariR
>>> False Evidence AppearinR
>>> False Evidence AppearingR
>>> False Evidence Appearing R
>>> False Evidence Appearing R
>>> False Evidence Appearing R
>>> False Evidence Appearing R
>>> False Evidence Appearing R
>>> False Evidence Appearing R
>>> False Evidence Appearing R
>>> False Evidence Appearing R
>>> False Evidence Appearing Re
>>> False Evidence Appearing Rea
>>> False Evidence Appearing Real
>>> False Evidence Appearing Real
>>> False Evidence Appearing Real
>>> False Evidence Appearing Real
>>> False Evidence Appearing Real
>>> False Evidence Appearing Real
>>> False Evidence Appearing Real
>>> False Evidence Appearing Real
>>> False Evidence Appearing Real
>>> False Evidence Appearing Rea
>>> False Evidence Appearing Re
>>> False Evidence Appearing R
>>> False Evidence Appearing
>>> False Evidence Appearing
>>> False Evidence Appearing
>>> False Evidence Appearin
>>> False Evidence Appeari
>>> False Evidence Appear
>>> False Evidence Appea
>>> False Evidence Appe
>>> False Evidence App
>>> False Evidence Ap
>>> False Evidence A
>>> False Evidence
>>> False Evidence
>>> False Evidence
>>> False Evidenc
>>> False Eviden
>>> False Evide
>>> False Evid
>>> False Evi
>>> False Ev
>>> False E
>>> False
>>> False
>>> False
>>> Fals
>>> Fal
>>> t Fa
>>> ut F
>>> But
>>> But
>>> But
>>> But
>>> But
>>> But
>>> But
>>> But
>>> But
>>> But
>>> But
>>> But
>>> But
>>> But
>>> of
>>> of
>>> of
>>> of
>>> of
>>> of
>>> of
>>> of
>>> of
>>> of
>>> of
>>> of
>>> of
>>> of
>>> of
>>> of
>>> P O W E R
>>> P O W E R
>>> P O W E R
>>> P O W E R
>>> P O W E R
>>> P O W E R
>>> P O W E R
>>> P O W E R
>>> P O \/\/ E R
>>> P O \/\/ E R
>>> P O \/\/ E R
>>> P O \/\/ E R
>>> P O \/\/ E R
>>> P O VV E R
>>> P O VV E R
>>> P O VV E R
>>> P O VV E R
>>> P O VV E R
>>> P O \/\/ E R
>>> P O \/\/ E R
>>> P O \/\/ E R
>>> P O \/\/ E R
>>> P O W E R
>>> P O W E R
>>> P O W E R
>>> P O W E R
>>> P O W E R
>>> P O \/\/ E R
>>> P O \/\/ E R
>>> P O \/\/ E R
>>> P O \/\/ E R
>>> P O \/\/ E R
>>> P O VV E R
>>> P O VV E R
>>> P O VV E R
>>> P O VV E R
>>> P O VV E R
>>> P O \/\/ E R
>>> P O \/\/ E R
>>> P O \/\/ E R
>>> P O \/\/ E R
>>> P O W E R
>>> P O W E R
>>> P O W E R
>>> P O W E R
>>> P O W E R
>>> P O W E R
>>> PO W ER
>>> POWER
>>> AND OF
>>> AND OF
>>> AND OF
>>> AND OF
>>> AND OF
>>> AND OF
>>> AND OF
>>> AND OF
>>> L O V E
>>> L O V E
>>> L O V E
>>> L O V E
>>> L O V E
>>> L O V E
>>> L O V E
>>> L O V E
>>> L O V E
>>> L O V E
>>> L O V E
>>> L O V E
>>> L O V E
>>> L O V E
>>> L O V E
>>> L O V E
>>> L O V E
>>> L O V E
>>> L O V E
>>> L O V E
>>> L O V E
>>> L O V E
>>> L O V E
>>> L O V E
>>> L O V E
>>> LO V E
>>> LO V E
>>> LO V E
>>> LO V E
>>> LO V E
>>> LO V E
>>> LO V E
>>> LOV E
>>> LOV E
>>> LOV E
>>> LOV E
>>> LOV E
>>> LOV E
>>> LOV E
>>> LOVE
>>> LOVE
>>> LOVE
>>> LOVE
>>> LOVE
>>> LOVE
>>> LOVE
>>> LOVE
>>> LOVE
>>> LOVE
>>> LOVE
>>> LOVE
>>> LOVE
>>> OVE
>>> VE
>>> E
>>> >>> \/
>>> \/>>> \/\/
>>> \/\/>>> \/\/\/
>>> \/\/\/>>> \/\/\/\/
>>> \/\/\/\/>>> \/\/\/\/\/
>>> \/\/\/\/\/>>> \/\/\/\/\/>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ an
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a SOUND
>>> /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ and a SOUND
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a SOUND
>>> /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ and a SOUND
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a SOUND
>>> /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ and a SOUND
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a SOUND
>>> /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ and a SOUND
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a SOUND
>>> /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ and a SOUND
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a SOUND
>>> /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ and a SOUND
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a SOUND
>>> /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ and a SOUND
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a SOUND
>>> /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ and a SOUND
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a SOUND
>>> /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ and a SOUND
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a SOUND
>>> /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ and a SOUND
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a SOUND
>>> /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ and a SOUND
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a SOUND
>>> /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ and a SOUND
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a SOUND
>>> /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ and a SOUND
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a SOUND
>>> /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ and a SOUND
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> \/\/\/\/\/\ and a
>>> /\/\/\ and a
>>> /\/\ind a
>>> /\/\ind
>>> /\/\ ind
>>> /\/\ i nd
>>> /\/\ i n d
>>> /\/\ i n d
>>> /\/\ i n d
>>> /\/\ i n d
>>> /\/\ i n d
>>> /\/\ i n d
>>> /\/\ i n d
>>> /V\ i n d
>>> M i n d
>>> Mi nd
>>> Mind
>>> Mind
>>> Mind
>>> Mind
>>> Mind
>>> Mind
>>> Mind
>>> Mind
>>> Mind
>>> Mind
>>> Mind
>>> Mind
>>> Mind
>>> Mind
>>> Mind
>>> Mind
>>> Mind
>>> Mind
>>> ind
>>> nd
>>> d
>>>
>>> "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear;
>>> but of power,
>>> and of love,
>>> and of a sound mind."
>>> -- 2 Timothy 1:7
>>> It's National Friendship Week
>>>
>>> Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed.
>>> They make you smile and encourage you to succeed.
>>> They lend an ear, they share a word of praise, and they
>>> always want to open their heart to us. Show your friends how much
>>> you care....
>>>
>>> Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND.
>>>
>>> If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a friend
>>> for life.
>>>
>>> Let's show our friends how much we appreciate them and what they
>>> mean to us.Pass this on, and brighten someone's day. Nothing
>>> will happen if you do not decide to pass it along. The only thing
>>> that will happen, if you DO pass it on, is that someone might
>>> smile (because of you). Make someone smile, and let them know how
>>> special they are to you. :-)



To: treetopflier who wrote (1722)3/11/1999 1:23:00 PM
From: P.S.N.  Respond to of 2733
 
Facts
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim
or
handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the
whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle," is the phrase inspired by
this practice.

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes...when
you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to
sleep
on. That's where the phrase, "good night, sleep tight" came from.

The term "the whole 9 yards" came from W.W.II fighter pilots in the Pacific.
When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo
belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If
the
pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the whole 9 yards."
======================================================================
PSN



To: treetopflier who wrote (1722)3/11/1999 1:26:00 PM
From: P.S.N.  Respond to of 2733
 
Overworked!
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too
much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real reason:

I'm tired because I'm overworked.

The population of this country is 237 million.

104 million are retired.

That leaves 133 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the
work.

Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government,
leaving 19 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million to do
the work.

Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and
City
Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving
1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And you're sitting at your computer reading jokes.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
PSN



To: treetopflier who wrote (1722)3/11/1999 1:28:00 PM
From: P.S.N.  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 2733
 
Facts
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month
after
the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the
mead
he could drink. Mead is a honey beer, and because their calendar was lunar
based, this period was called the "honey month" or what we know today as the
"honeymoon."

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England,
when
customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them to mind their own
pints
and quarts and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and
Q's."
######################################################################
PSN



To: treetopflier who wrote (1722)3/11/1999 8:07:00 PM
From: Monty Lenard  Read Replies (3) | Respond to of 2733
 
> A little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this
> HUGE guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy
staring at
> him, looks down and says,"7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3
pound
> left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."
> The small guy faints and falls to the floor. The big dude
> kneels down
> and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him,
> "What's wrong with you?"
> In a very weak voice the little guy says, "Excuse me, but
> what EXACTLY did you say to me?"
> The big dude says, "I saw the curious look on your face and
> figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone
always asks
> me. I'm 7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left
testicle, 3
> pound right testicle, and my name is Turner Brown."
> >
> The small guy says, "Thank God! I thought you said 'Turn Around.'"



To: treetopflier who wrote (1722)3/11/1999 9:23:00 PM
From: John Messbauer  Respond to of 2733
 
In a mental institution a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient acting like he's driving a car.

The nurse asks him,"Charlie what are you doing?"

Charlie replied, "Driving to Chicago!"

The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room. The next day the nurse enters Charlie's room just as he stops driving his imaginary car and asks, Well Charlie, how you doing?"

Charlie says, "I just got into Chicago"

"Great," replied the nurse.

The nurse leaves Charlie's room and goes across the hall into Bob's room and finds Bob sitting on his bed masturbating vigorously. With surprise she asks, "Bob what are you doing!"

Bob says.."I'm screwing Charlie's wife while he's in Chicago!"