Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Calvin Scott who wrote (1747)	3/16/1999 11:26:00 AM
From: P.S.N.	Respond to of 2733

Two nude statues (one male & one female) had been standing in the > middle of a beautiful park for 99 years. On their 100th anniversary > in the park an angel came down from heaven to talk to the statues. He > said to them "God has been watching you for the past 100 years and has > been very pleased with the two of you. > So pleased in fact that he has decided to grant you a wish of becoming > human for a short time." The angel then went on to say that they > would be human for fifteen minutes and will finally be able to > pleasure themselves in a manner in which they have only fantasized > about for the last 100 years. The statues were so excited they could > hardly believe it. The second they became human they ran off together > behind the bushes. The angel heard the rustling of the bushes and > shouts of joy and laughter. After 10 minutes the statues returned > from behind the bushes sweating and laughing. The angel told the > statues that they still had 5 more minutes. The male statue quickly > turned to the female statue and said: "Cool, this time, you hold down > the pigeon and I'll shit on his head." > > >> PSN

To: Calvin Scott who wrote (1747)	3/17/1999 1:46:00 AM
From: Stephanie M	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 2733

SOUND EFFECTS A man complained that his wife was hard of hearing. His friend asked, "Why don't you go have her tested?" The husband said, "She won't go." "Well, I'll tell you what to do," "You test her yourself. You stand ten feet behind her and say, 'What are we having for dinner?' and see if she answers." When the husband did this, he heard nothing. Then he moved up two feet and said it again. He heard nothing. He moved up three more feet and finally walked around to her face. "I ask you what's for dinner? he shouted. "Pot roast!" she answered. "I told you three times already." EVERYONE NEEDS A LIFT NOW AND THEN An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially two shiny, silver walls in the hotel lobby that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked, "What is this, father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an older lady, limping slightly with a cane, slowly walked up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady walked between them and into a small room. The walls closed and, as the boy and his father watched, small circles of light with numbers above the wall lit up. The father and son continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. Suddenly, the walls opened up again and a beautiful 24 year-old woman stepped out. The father turned to his son and said, "Go get your mother."