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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: William B. Kohn who wrote (9003)	3/17/1999 4:31:00 PM
From: Frank Buck	Respond to of 62549

Happy St Patricks Day.... It's the only holiday where you don't have to go out and buy presents, make a special meal or prepare for guests. All you have to do is dress up in green and go out drinking. Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. --Winston Churchill Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. --Catherine Zandonella A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. --W.C. Fields If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs. --David Daye When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. --Henny Youngman Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. --Benjamin Franklin Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. --Dave Barry The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. --Humphrey Bogart Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. --Kaiser Wilhelm I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer. --Homer Simpson You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. --Dean Martin Know when to say "limo." --Roland Perry I had a few drinks last night and slept like a log. When I woke up I was in the fireplace. --Frank Buck