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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: charlie mcgeehan who wrote (1777)	3/18/1999 8:16:00 PM
From: Don Green	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 2733

A brunette said to her dumb blonde girlfriend, "Damm, my boyfriend just sent me two dozen roses and now I'm going to have to lie on my back with my legs up for the next three days!!! The dumb blonde said, "why don't you just get a vase."

To: charlie mcgeehan who wrote (1777)	3/21/1999 9:11:00 PM
From: P.S.N.	Respond to of 2733

Deep Thoughts......by Dennis Miller >>> Don't sweat the petty things and Don't pet the sweaty things. >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes? >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live. >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help >>> section >>> was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose >>> >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims? >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap? >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> And whose cruel idea was it to put an "S" in the word "Lisp"? >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no >woman >>> around to hear him....Is he still wrong? >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide....is it >>> considered a hostage situation? >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> Is there another word for synonym? >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"? >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all? >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered >>> plant? >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> If a parsley farmer is sued do they garnish his wages? >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> Would a wingless fly be called a walk? >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they worried someone will >>> clean them? >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> Is a shelless turtle homeless or just naked? >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> If a mime is arrested do they tell him he has the right to talk? >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> Why do they put Braille on the drive thru bank machines? >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> Do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections? >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> Is it true that cannibals won't eat clown because they taste funny? >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread? >>>=================================== >> >> >>