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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Edwarda who wrote (9025)	3/22/1999 1:56:00 PM
From: Calvin Scott	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62562

Only in America.... Only in America-can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance... Only in America-are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink... Only in America-do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions... Only in America-do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke... Only in America-do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters... Only in America-do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless junk in the garage... Only in America---do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place... Only in America-do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight... Only in America-do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "blood-sucking creatures"... Only in America-can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House... Onlly in America-do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.