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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: david james who wrote (9028)	3/23/1999 10:49:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62562

Dear Abby, A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese? -- --Curious Dear Abby, I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his. Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him. Dear Abby, I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen again. Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own? Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out? Dear Abby, My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy. Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober. Dear Abby, Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little gift? I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn't and he finally did it. Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is going through her mental pause. Dear Abby, Then you told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex years ago and he is a doctor. Dear Abby, My boyfriend is going to be twenty years old next month. I'd like to give him something nice for his birthday. What do you think he'd like? --Carol Dear Carol, Never mind what he'd like. Give him a tie. Dear Abby, Our son was married in January. Five months later his wife had a ten-pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature. Tell me, can a baby this big be that early? -- Wondering Dear Wondering, The baby was on time, the wedding was late. Forget it. Dear Abby, I know boys will be boys, but my 'boy' is seventy-three and he's still chasing women. Any suggestions? -- Annie Dear Annie, Don't worry. My dog has been chasing cars for years, but if he ever caught one, he wouldn't know what to do with it. Dear Abby, I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions? -- Sam Dear Sam, Yes. Run for public office. Dear Abby, What inspires you most to write? -- Ted Dear Ted, The Bureau of Internal Revenue. Dear Abby, I am forty-four years old and I would like to meet a man my age with no bad habits. -- Rose Dear Rose, So would I. Dear Abby, What's the difference between a wife and a mistress? -- Bess Dear Bess, Night and day.