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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jay who wrote (9056)	3/26/1999 5:12:00 PM
From: TwoBear	Respond to of 62549

From www.darwinawards.com Larry Waters of Los Angeles is one of the few to contend for the Darwin the award and live to tell about his exploits. Larry's boyhood dream was to fly. When he graduated from high school, he joined the Air Force in hopes of becoming a pilot. Unfortunately, poor eyesight disqualified him. When he was finally discharged, he had to satisfy himself with watching jets fly over his backyard. One day, Larry brightened up: he decided to fly. He went to the local Army-Navy surplus store and purchased 45 weather balloons and several tanks of helium. The weather balloons, when fully inflated, measured more than four feet across. Back home, Larry securely strapped the balloons to his sturdy lawn chair. He anchored the chair to the bumper of his jeep and inflated the balloons with the helium. He climbed on for a test while it was still only a few feet above the ground. Satisfied that it would work, Larry packed several sandwiches and a six-pack of Miller Lite, loaded his pellet gun--figuring he could pop a few balloons when it was time to descend--and went back to the floating lawn chair where he tied himself in along with his pellet gun and provisions. Larry's plan was to lazily float up to a height of about 30 feet above his back yard after severing the anchor and in a few hours come back down. Things didn't quite work out as planned for Larry. When he cut the cord anchoring the lawn chair to his jeep, he didn't float lazily up to 30 or so feet. Instead he streaked into the LA sky as if shot from a cannon. He didn't level off at 30 feet, nor did he level off at 100 feet. After climbing and climbing, he leveled off at 11,000 feet. At that height he couldn't risk shooting any of the balloons, lest he unbalance the load and really find himself in trouble. So he stayed there, drifting, cold, and frightened, for more than 14 hours, when he found himself in the primary approach corridor of LAX. A Pan Am pilot first spotted Larry. He radioed the tower and described passing a guy in a lawn chair with a gun. Radar confirmed the existence of an object floating 11,000 feet above the airport. LAX emergency procedures swung into full alert and a helicopter was dispatched to investigate. LAX is right on the ocean. Night was falling and the offshore breeze began to blow. It carried Larry out to sea. Right on Larry's heels was the helicopter. Several miles out, the helicopter caught up with him. Once the crew determined that Larry was not dangerous, they attempted to close in for a rescue but the draft from the blades kept pushing him away whenever they neared. Finally, the helicopter ascended to a position several hundred feet above Larry and lowered a rescue line. Larry snagged the line, with which he was hauled back to shore--a difficult maneuver flawlessly executed by the helicopter crew. As soon as Larry was deposited on earth, he was arrested by waiting members of the LAPD for violating LAX airspace. As he was led away in handcuffs, a reporter dispatched to cover the daring rescue asked him why he had done it. Larry stopped, turned, and replied nonchalantly, "A man can't just sit around." Contributed by Walter Hecht. Note: Douglas Walker informs us that this story is from a book called "Stabbed with a Wedge of Cheese" published in the 80's. Thanks, D! Addendum: Ed Greany sends us the following details: I am a member of Crest REACT (a non-profit organization who monitored the C.B. Channel 9 for emergencies. I have the entire event recorded on cassette while Larry and Santiago REACT Unit 66 were in C.B. contact. He was not rescued by a helicopter as you inaccurately reported. He came down of his own actions and became entangled in power lines. Unfortunately, he also committed suicide and is not alive as you also report. He recorded a song called "Lawn Chair that Flew" c. 1982 ASCAP and Larry gave me a personal copy. I had him as a guest visitor / speaker at a later REACT Council meeting in Corona, CA. The C.B. recording is not copywrited and you may have a copy with a S.A.S.E. and $2 to cover duplication