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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: The Rabbit who wrote (9097)	3/29/1999 6:09:00 PM
From: Jacques Chitte	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62562

Why we don't live in Vancouver > > A newcomer to Vancouver arrives on a rainy day. She gets up > > the next day and > > it's raining. It also rains the day after that, and the day > > after that. She > > goes out to lunch and sees a young kid and, out of despair, > > asks, "Hey, kid, > > does it ever stop raining around here?" > > > > The kid says, "How should I know? I'm only 6." > > > > ******************************************* > > "I can't believe it, " said the tourist. "I've been here in > > Vancouver an > > entire week and it's done nothing but rain. When do you have > > summer here?" > > > > "Well, that's hard to say, " replied the local. "Last year, > > it was on a > > wednesday." > > > > ******************************************* > > What do you call two straight days of rain in Vancouver? > > > > * An average weekend > > > > ********************************************* > > What did the Vancouver native say to the Pillsbury Doughboy? > > > > * "Nice tan." > > > > ******************************************* > > Meteorological experts were predicting a gargantuan rain > > storm that would > > destroy the Pacific NW with a flood. The Archbishop went on > > national tv and > > said, "This is your punishment from God. Prepare to meet your Maker." > > > > The Prime Minister went on national TV and announced, "Our > > scientists have > > done all they can. The end is near." > > > > The Vancouver evening news came on and said, "Today's five > > day forecast.... > > same as usual." > > > > ******************************************* > > What does daylight savings time mean in Vancouver? > > > > * An extra hour of rain. > > > > ******************************************** > > A curious fellow died one day and found himself waiting in > > the long line of > > judgment. As he stood there he noticed that some souls were > > allowed to > > march right through the gates of Heaven. Others, though, > > were led over to > > Satan who threw them into the burning pit. But every so > > often, instead of > > hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would toss a soul > > off to one side > > into a small pile. > > > > After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow's > > curiosity got the > > best of him. So he strolled over and asked > > Satan....."Excuse me, Satan," > > he said. "I'm waiting in line for judgment, but I couldn't > > help wondering > > why are you tossing those people aside instead of flinging > > them into the > > fires of hell with the others?" > > > > "Ah, those..." Satan said with a groan. "They're all from Vancouver; > > they're too damn wet to burn yet." > > > > ************************************************ > > What do you call blue skies in Vancouver? > > > > * A 30 second time out. > > > > ************************************************** > > How do they wash the streets in Vancouver? > > > > * Huh?!?!....You're not from Vancouver, are you?