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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (9119)	3/31/1999 1:58:00 AM
From: STRTYZ	Respond to of 62549

A guy walks into see his doctor and the doctor asks him "What seems to be the problem?" The guy replies "I just can't seem to make friends with anyone, Can you help me you fat ugly bastard?" ---------------------------------------- WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor." HUSBAND: "Water in the carburettor? That's ridiculous." WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburettor." HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburettor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?" WIFE: "In the pool."

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (9119)	3/31/1999 10:32:00 AM
From: JakeStraw	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN OUT OF COLLEGE TOO LONG WHEN.... Your potted plants stay alive.. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep. You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up' Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds. Sleeping on the couch is a no-no. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m. Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff'. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time. Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese, diet Pepsi & ho-ho's 'I just can't drink the way I used to' replaces 'I'm never going to drink that much again' You don't get liquored up at home, to save money, before going to a bar.