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To: Elmer Flugum who wrote (1896)3/31/1999 5:03:00 PM
From: johnlag  Respond to of 2733
 
The CIA

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin.
These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there's a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position.

After sending some applicants through the background checks, training
and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to 2 men and a woman, but only one position was available.

The day came for the final test to see which person would get the
extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the
circumstances" they explained. "Inside this room, you will find your
wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her."

The man got a shocked look on his face and said, "You can't be serious! I could never shoot my own wife!" "Well", says the CIA man, "You're definitely not the right man for this job then."

So they bring the second man to the same door and hand him a gun. "We
must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the
circumstances", they explained to the second man. "Inside you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her."

The second man looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and
went in the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes, then the door opened.

The man came out of the room with tears in his eyes. "I tried to shoot
her, I just couldn't pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I'm not the right man for the job." "No" the CIA man replied, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Now they're down to the woman left to test.

Again they lead her to the same door to the same room and handed her the same gun. "We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances, this is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him."

The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even closed all the way, the CIA men heard the gun start firing. One shot after another for 13 shots. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. This went on for several minutes, then all went quiet.

The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat
from her brow and said "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks! I had to beat him to death with the chair!"



To: Elmer Flugum who wrote (1896)4/1/1999 2:07:00 AM
From: Neenny  Read Replies (4) | Respond to of 2733
 
A chicken and an egg were laying in bed.

The chicken is laying there smoking a cigarette with a satisfied look on it's face.

The egg is frowning and looking a bit pissed off.

The egg mutters to no one in particular,

"Well, I guess we answered THAT question."