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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (9167)	4/2/1999 9:21:00 AM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.	Respond to of 62549

IT'S MY JOB Sam was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by terrible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem. "The good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Sam was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need, a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long." Sam laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job." Sam tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Sam admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Sam thought for a moment and then said, "Sure..." The salesman eyed Sam and said, "Let's see,... 34 sleeve and... 16 and a half neck." Sam was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job." Sam tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Sam adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Sam was on a roll, "Why not?" The salesman eyed Sam's feet and said, "Let's see...9 1/2, wide." Sam was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job." Sam tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Sam walked around the shop comfortably and the salesman asked, "How about a new hat?" Without hesitating, Sam said, "Sure..." The salesman eyed Sam's head and said, "That would be... 7 5/8." Sam was incredulous, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job." The hat fit perfectly. Sam was feeling great, when the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Sam thought for a second and said, "OK." The salesman stepped back, eyed Sam's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36." Sam laughed, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old." The salesman shook his head and said, "You can't wear a size 34. It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache!"