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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jay who wrote (1919)	4/2/1999 11:07:00 PM
From: Monty Lenard	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of the daughter's swollen abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, "Gimme a break, lady! Your daughter is pregnant!" The mother turn red with fury, and she argued with the doctor that her daughter was a good girl, and would never compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy. The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon. The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying attention to me?" "Yes, of course I am paying attention, ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three wise men came. I was hoping they'd show up again, and help me figure out who got your daughter pregnant!"

To: Jay who wrote (1919)	4/3/1999 9:04:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Read Replies (7) \| Respond to of 2733

Everyone lines up on main street hoping for a personal blessing from the Pope. One local man has put on his best suit and he's sure the Pope will stop and talk to him. He is standing next to an exceptionally down-trodden looking bum who doesn't smell very good. As the Pope comes walking by he leans over and says something to the bum and then walks right by the local man. He can't believe it, then it hits him. The Pope won't talk to him, he's concerned for the unfortunate people: the poor and and feeble ones. Thinking fast, he gives the bum $20 to trade clothes with him. He puts on the bum's clothing and runs down the street to line up for another chance for the Pope to stop and talk to him. Sure enough, the Pope walks right up to him this time, leans over close and says "I thought I told you to get the hell out of here!"