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To: freelyhovering who wrote (3999)	4/4/1999 5:07:00 PM
From: j g cordes	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 13094

"What does that say about SI....?" At the risk of being discovered by the thought police, I'd say yes. It might even be a trap designed to catch errant minds! But lets stop before we compound our permutations and lose interest. How have your inventments been doing? I still marvel at the internet wealth creation machine. Who'd have thought Yahoo was real money, but they just paid six billion for Broadcast! That made a few heads turn. I've been putting small ammounts into some of the biotechs as the internet has pretty well sopped up speculative money making companies like HIV, LGND, IMGN and CORR reasonable. P.S. I did like the ability to 'download' skill sets directly into the brain. Could use that technology right away.

To: freelyhovering who wrote (3999)	4/9/1999 1:28:00 PM
From: James Strauss	Respond to of 13094

Somebody Actually Wrote This... Here are some helpful instructions found various products: On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?) On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion!) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: Do not turn upside down. (printed on bottom of the box) (Too late! You lose!) (I love it: food to piss you off.) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure??? Let's experiment.) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?) (Whose body?) On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.) On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!) On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children. (Or pets! What's for dinner?) On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.) (Or underground?) On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.) On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. ( Not to mention the nut who wrote the warning ) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. ( DDDUUUHHH) On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. (Enough said) On a childs superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!) Jim