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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: E who wrote (35092)	4/17/1999 10:04:00 PM
From: Jacques Chitte	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

>But it's a man looking at a woman (or at somebody) and getting an erection and performing an act that gives him sexual release and can make a baby. (Babies don't get made from domination, they get made from sex.)< I think that with forcible rape that is necessary but not sufficient. A characteristic of rape is the imposition of will in the most defense-shattering way short of murder. A deliberate override of violent unwillingness - a declaration of the other's powerlessness. Incredibly ugly. And yet a universal facet of human nature. A mugging is like rape without sex. I know. I was mugged once. The feeling of powerlessness in the face of REALLY not wanting this situation ... sucked. For a long while. It leaves ... a victim behind who is permanently "dehumanized" to some extent.

To: E who wrote (35092)	4/17/1999 10:43:00 PM
From: Sidney Reilly	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

Hi E, What I have read and listened to about rape tells me that rape is not about sex but is about violence against women. The rapist has anger against woman that is acted out by rape. It's not for sex or gratification, it's about acting out the violence and anger, and even hate. It is also the ultimate humiliation of the women, satisfying the man's anger and hatred. SR

To: E who wrote (35092)	4/17/1999 11:02:00 PM
From: Grainne	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

<<But it's a man looking at a woman (or at somebody) and getting an erection and performing an act that gives him sexual release and can make a baby. (Babies don't get made from domination, they get made from sex.)>> I think I mostly agree with Sidney on the subject of what motivates rapists. Certainly when you read of violent younger men raping very elderly women, it is hard to imagine that the motive is sexual excitement. And there are many instances of rapists who are unable to perform sexually, and end up violating the women they attack with foreign objects. Then there are the psychological case studies I have read where rapists seem to be the victims of childhood abuse of all kinds, which would suggest that the rapist feels powerless and full of rage, and lashes out in vengeance to try to right his psyche. Not very sexual, really, in my opinion.

To: E who wrote (35092)	4/17/1999 11:47:00 PM
From: Ilaine	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

I agree with the other three, and the REASON IS that men can get sex without force. If they want it. And if they prefer sex with force, it's because that's what they like. As Richard Prior once said (with respect to homosexual rape in prison), "They'll f*** you just to see that look you get in your eyes."

To: E who wrote (35092)	4/18/1999 2:42:00 AM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 108807

E, I have been there and it ain't sex, not even impersonal sex. It is not like a male baboon jumping a female in heat. We can talk about this off line if you like, but my statement is not rooted in PC; it is personal experience. It is an act of brutality using sex as a weapon, although we hear so often that the rapist has trouble ejaculating and so forth. It is the domination, the enjoyment of the fear and horror that is the point of rape; sex is merely the means to an end.

To: E who wrote (35092)	4/18/1999 12:31:00 PM
From: epicure	Respond to of 108807

But it's a man looking at a woman (or at somebody) and getting an erection and performing an act that gives him sexual release and can make a baby. (Babies don't get made from domination, they get made from sex.) Rapists don't necessarily ejaculate, so there isn't necessarily sexual release. It really is violence, and not sex- Rapists would probably get the same thrill out of bashing their victims in the head with a pipe as they do from penetration. That's why foreign objects are so often used in rape- lots of times rapists don't even HAVE erections.

To: E who wrote (35092)	4/18/1999 12:32:00 PM
From: epicure	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 108807

>But it's a man looking at a woman (or at somebody) and getting an erection and performing an act that gives him sexual release and can make a baby. (Babies don't get made from domination, they get made from sex.)< Rapists don't necessarily ejaculate, so there isn't necessarily sexual release. It really is violence, and not sex- Rapists would probably get the same thrill out of bashing their victims in the head with a pipe as they do from penetration. That's why foreign objects are so often used in rape- lots of times rapists don't even HAVE erections.