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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (9346)	4/19/1999 9:55:00 PM
From: MrsNose	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62551

TEN BEST THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK. 10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." 9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to." 8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time!" 7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm." 6 "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance." 5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work- related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?" 4. "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem." 3. "The coffee machine is broken..." 2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..." And the #1 best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk... 1. ".....in Jesus' name. Amen." > >

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (9346)	4/20/1999 9:27:00 AM
From: Henry Volquardsen	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62551

Buffalo Theory A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members. Much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.