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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Sye Walsh who wrote (9434)	4/30/1999 2:29:00 PM
From: Arthur Radley	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

While enjoying a drink with a mate one night, this bloke decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar. To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he'd like to come back to her place. The pair jump into a taxi and as soon as they get back to her flat, they dive onto the bed and spend the night hard at it. Finally, the young bloke rolls over, pulls out a cigarette from his jeans and searches for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asks the girl if she has one at hand. "There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replies. Opening the drawer of the bedside table, he finds a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the bloke begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquires nervously. "No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" "No, don't be daft," she says, nibbling away at his ear. "Well, who is he then?" demands the bewildered bloke. Calmly, the girl takes a match, strikes it across the side of her face and replies, "That's me before the operation."

To: Sye Walsh who wrote (9434)	4/30/1999 4:06:00 PM
From: Herschel Rubin	Respond to of 62549

Stranded on a desert island we have: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman 2 English men and 1 English woman 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman 2 American men and 1 American woman 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman One month later on this absolutely stunning deserted island in the middle of the Pacific, the following events have transpired: One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman. The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage a trois. The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman. The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them. The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman. The Bulgarian men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming. The two Japanese men have fused beach sand into transistors, which they used to build a satellite transmitter and have faxed Tokyo for instructions about what to do next. The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and by setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut Whiskey, but they are satisfied in that at least the English are not getting any. The two American men have formed a joint-venture to start an island food distribution company and are collaborating on cornering the coconut market, while the American woman keeps bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do anything the men can do, about the need for spiritual fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is improving. But at least the taxes are low and enough shade that her complexion is not suffering unduly.