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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Gordon A. Langston who wrote (9489)	5/4/1999 7:06:00 PM
From: Tomato	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

> Real Signs On Church Property > > Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside! > > Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins. > > Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here! > > An ad for St.Joseph's Episcopal Church has a picture of two hands > > holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed & a > > headline that reads: "For fast, fast relief, take two tablets." > > When the restaurant next to the Lutheran Church put out a big sign with > > red letters that said, "Open Sundays." The church reciprocated with > > its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too." > > Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons -- come hear one! > > A singing group called "The Resurrection" was scheduled to sing at a > > church. When a big snowstorm postponed the performance, the pastor > > fixed the outside sign to read, "The Resurrection is postponed." > > People are like tea bags-you have to put them in hot water before you > > know how strong they are. > > God so loved the world that he did not send a committee. > > Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush! > > When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out alright. > > Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday. > > Fight truth decay -- study the Bible daily. > > How will you spend eternity -- Smoking or Nonsmoking? > > Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives. > > Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the > > pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world. > > It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin. > > Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church. > > If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns. > > If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again. > > Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire > > insurance soon. > > This is a CH_ _ CH. What is missing?" ---------> (U R) > > Forbidden fruit creates many jams. > > In the dark? Follow the Son. > > Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up. > > If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd. > > ===================================================