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To: Alohal who wrote (127311)	5/20/1999 11:46:00 AM
From: Frank E W	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 176387

OT sure lets blame it on guns now!!! getting rid of guns isnt the answer! Frank

To: Alohal who wrote (127311)	5/20/1999 11:51:00 AM
From: David Harker	Respond to of 176387

OT >the two are not mutually exclusive, that is, being buddies with >your children AND teaching agreed, but if in a particular situation the need to teach/train (i use those terms interchangably, same net effect) conflicts w/ the "buddy" relationship, then the teaching/training should occur - ie, don't gloss over disrespectful behavior to "avoid making a scene", whatever - leave the McDonald's in order to talk to child about need to respect the parent, etc, if needed - don't ignore the bad behavior to preserve 'buddy' status. Too many parents gloss over the mouthing off, etc, because it is easier to just let it slide, consistency is key in any teaching situation. Teaching works best during times of non-conflict, yet many parents only do it in times of conflict, if at all. I've worked w/ young kids alot, used to teach swimming lessons, for years, to several hundred 4-5 yr olds total, the effect of parenting style was obvious in each kid's behavior/respect for me as instructor (I met lots of their parents as well).

To: Alohal who wrote (127311)	5/20/1999 12:00:00 PM
From: Jill	Respond to of 176387

I agree w/ you 1000000000% Aloha. Jill

To: Alohal who wrote (127311)	5/20/1999 12:11:00 PM
From: Dave B	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 176387

OTOTOTOTOT Aloha, Re: IMO the two are not mutually exclusive, that is, being buddies with your children AND teaching. I won't argue that you can't be both, but as a parent of twin 4 year olds and twin 2 year olds I've realized that there are about 6 billion people out in the world who can be their "buddy", but only two of us who will be their mother and father; and that we have a very short window of time where we're going to shape their ethics, morals, and behaviors. A buddy isn't going to correct bad behavior, isn't going to make you do your homework and make sure you're learning, isn't going to make sure you're eating healthy (at least mine never did, nor would have I wanted them to <G>). I agree with your follow on sentiments -- we show them how to resolve conflicts with words, how to negotiate, how to respect the rights of others, and we make sure that we hug them and let them know that we love them and that they can come to us with any problem and we'll help them with it, but that's not being a buddy, that's being a parent, I believe. Sorry for going on. I guess my point is that, even if you're both, you have to prioritize heavily on the side of being a parent and teacher since there are so many others who can be their buddies. Dave