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Pastimes : Business Wire Falls for April Fools Prank, Sues FBNers -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Razorbak who wrote (2612)	5/22/1999 1:19:00 AM
From: Bill Ulrich	Read Replies (4) \| Respond to of 3795

Well Alex, for the Node-Jeopardy!™ audience at home we have the board game version of Belligerent-WireService!™ You'll have endless hours of enjoyment with this exciting board game based on real-life business principles! Imagine the fun and excitement you'll have, pretending to be a tough yet important middle-management executive clawing your way to the top, attempting to prove your competency in the shark-infested corporate waters! But that's not all!! • Getting that early morning news, first-hand, takes the drudgery out of stock-picking! Portfolio decisions were never easier!!! • Feeling down in the dumps? Assert your power with armies of flunkie lawyers eager to do your bidding! Sue the janitor for messing up the important yet-to-be released news piling on your desk. Sue the grocer-boy who packed your rhubarb under the leaky package of bloody chicken giblets. Sue Sue Sue your worries away, and that bimbo-bitch, too—the one on second floor who's sleeping with your ex. • No need to fret over those embarrassing messes caused by flagellation from your press industry peers—the travel version comes with moist towelettes!! • Fame optional! Ever-onward up the company ladder, choose your battles carefully with topical content deserving of a Jerry Springer episode. Meet Jerry himself, and collect 200 bonus points!! Pick a topic so absurd, even Springer won't televise it—Sue For The Grand Prize! Yeeaaahhh, Baby!!! • Wind down the day with a relaxing "Mocha-Cheeno". Your semi-chic Frumpy Klein polyester business skirt has a wonderfully low melting point, and comes in four exciting Summer-SubpoenaSafari™ coloured prints. Dribble 'n' spill your way to the top, with the fantastic income-earning potential of hot coffee!!!!! • Office betting pools! Which press release will suck in the largest number of those silly investors —the AZNT 'Sweet Factory' release or the CSHK 'Y2K Expert'?! Laugh hysterically whilst doubling your income as you watch not-so-savvy investors eat up those releases like peanuts. Earning money was NEVER this fun!!!! • For quick little 'pick-me-up', trample the First Amendment with impunity!! Harass a discussion forum, and conquer Seattle in a quick afternoon jaunt!! Don't worry about being a non-paying non-member—you get to control what the discussion participants say anyway!!! Ha Ha!!! That'll show those saucy, impudent, Leftist-Commie free speech pansies!!!! Just send your name, address, and 13 Cap'n Crunch boxtops to: Belligerent-WireService! Home Board Game Offer P.O. Box 1122 Chicago IL, 60606 Back to you, Alex!