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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: David Rye who wrote (9882)	5/23/1999 2:47:00 PM
From: Elmer Flugum	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

90's Sex Quiz for Men You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared: a) Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship. b) Blood-test results. c) A cab. d) Five tequila slammers. You time your orgasm so that: a) Your partner climaxes first. b) You both climax simultaneously. c) The director can set up for a close-up. d) You don't miss football. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is: a) Strictly for cats. b) Healthy, creative love-play. c) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to. d) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about. A prostitute is: a) A victim of male dominated society and social oppression. b) Someone who provides an essential service. c) A cheap date. d) A valued employee. A wife is: a) A victim of male dominated society and social oppression. b) Someone who provides an essential service. c) A cheap date. d) A valued employee. How can you tell when your partner has an orgasm? a) When she drops her nail file. b) When she goes the color of a Chicago Bulls uniform. c) When the Earth moves. d) Who cares? Which of the following lines best fits into your ideal role-playing sexual fantasy: a) "Frankly Scarlet, I don't give a damn..." b) "I've got a nasty swelling down here, Nurse..." c) "You're a lovely, fluffy little sheep...." d) "Another consonant please, Carol...." You take a woman out to dinner and the bill comes to $300. Do you expect: a) An overdraft. b) Oral sex. c) Her to pay next time. d) A thank-you letter. Woman who consent to having sex with when they're drunk are: a) Easier. b) Unfortunately, probably incapable of rational judgment. c) Fortunately, probably incapable of rational judgment. d) A tricky defense in court. You wake to find your partner clutching your penis in one hand and a carving knife in the other. Do you: a) Talk through her anger. b) Shout "Look behind you!" and make a run for it. c) Ask her to put down the offensive weapon. d) Ask her to put down the knife. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate: a) Is uptight and a waste of time. b) Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy. c) May need glasses. d) Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.