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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: JakeStraw who wrote (9945)	5/26/1999 8:55:00 AM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.	Respond to of 62549

Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor said, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks." The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The old man replied, "No problem at all,Pastor." "Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor. The pastor went to the middle-aged couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes, we made it." "Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor. The pastor then went to the newlywed couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?" "No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied sadly. "What Happened?" inquired the pastor. "My wife was reaching for a can of paint on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there." "You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church,"stated the pastor. "We know." said the young man, "We're not welcome at Home Depot anymore either."

To: JakeStraw who wrote (9945)	5/26/1999 1:46:00 PM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

Woman Uses Breasts As Bird's Nest Wednesday May 26 11:30 AM ET dailynews.yahoo.com OSLO (Reuters) - A Norwegian woman is using the cleavage between her breasts as a nest to help incubate a bird's egg, Norwegian media reported Wednesday. Anne-Mette Smette, a 58-year-old former hospital midwife, reckons the speckled green and brown egg should hatch in several weeks time. She aims to keep it in her cleavage, even when sleeping at night, to keep it warm. A farmer found the egg, believed to belong to a curlew, apparently abandoned last week. Smette tried to get a hen to incubate the egg but the bird refused to accept it. Her husband, Knut, was under instructions not to touch her breasts for fear of cracking the egg. ''Now it's look but don't touch,'' he told the daily Verdens Gang.