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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Carole Olkowski who wrote (9985)	5/28/1999 8:54:00 AM
From: Peter S.	1 Recommendation Respond to of 62549

A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother there were 2 boy kittens & 2 girl kittens. "How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied, "I think it's printed on the bottom." Another three year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the left was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet." He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom, I KNOW they're my feet." On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?" A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. "What are you doing?" his mother asked. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal." Can people predict the future with cards? My mother can. Really? Yes, she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home. A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?" A four-year-old girl was learning to say the Lord's Prayer. She was reciting it all by herself without help from her mother. She said, "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail. AMEN"

To: Carole Olkowski who wrote (9985)	5/28/1999 8:58:00 AM
From: Peter S.	1 Recommendation Respond to of 62549

Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were: His obnoxious brother ...................Please Gogh His dizzy aunt ...................Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes ....................Gotta Gogh The brother who worked at a convenience store ....................Stopn Gogh The grandfather from Yugoslavia .....................U Gogh The brother who bleached his clothes white ....................Hue Gogh The cousin from Illinois .....................Chica Gogh His magician uncle .....................Wherediddy Gogh His Mexican cousin ......................Amee Gogh The Mexican cousin's American half brother ...................Grin Gogh The nephew who drove a stage coach ..................Wellsfar Gogh The constipated uncle ......................Cant Gogh The ballroom dancing aunt .......................Tan Gogh The bird lover uncle .....................Flamin Gogh His nephew psychoanalyst ......................E Gogh The fruit loving cousin .......................Man Gogh An aunt who taught positive thinking .....................Wayto Gogh The little bouncy nephew ........................Poe Gogh A sister who loved disco .......................Go Gogh And his niece who travels the country in a van ................Winnie Bay Gogh

To: Carole Olkowski who wrote (9985)	5/28/1999 9:00:00 AM
From: Peter S.	Respond to of 62549

A guy met a girl at a nightclub and she invited him back to her place for the night. When they arrived at her house they went right into her bedroom and the guy saw that the room was filled with stuffed animals. There were hundreds of them. Giant stuffed animals on top of the wardrobe, Large stuffed animals on the bookshelf and on the window sill, and lots of smaller stuffed animals on the bottom shelf. Later after they had sex, he turned to her and asked, "So, how was I? "Well, she said, You can take anything from the bottom shelf."