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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: PMS Witch who wrote (10105)	6/2/1999 4:32:00 PM
From: VisionsOfSugarplums	Respond to of 62549

Subject: The Blonde and the Lawyer A lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, saying that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains how the game works: "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me, and visa-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer figures that since his opponent is a blonde he will easily win the match, so he makes another offer: "Okay, how about this, if you don't know the answer you pay me only $5, but if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, she agrees to play the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and even the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his co-workers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an hour, of searching for the answer he finally gives up. He wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little frustrated, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer?" Again without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

To: PMS Witch who wrote (10105)	6/2/1999 4:32:00 PM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.	Respond to of 62549

On giving cats pills: Try coating the pills with butter, if they're big break them in 1/2 first. I used to wrestle with my cats to take pills, now every time I take the Tupperware butter thing out of the refrig my cats sit and wait for a pill. Happy Tails Wednesday June 2 12:09 PM ET Crackdown On Sale Of Breast Enlarging Herb BANGKOK (Reuters) - Thai authorities Wednesday cracked down on growing commercial sales of a native wonder herb which helps enlarge women's breasts and cures impotent men. The popularity of Kwao Kruea, the root of a wild plant, has soared since last year after a local herbal specialist publicized its exotic properties. Thai transvestites consume it widely to enlarge their breasts and impotent men, who cannot afford the expensive Viagra cure, do likewise to boost their libidos. The herbal specialist believes that the herb does not lead to breast enlargement in men who use it. But the Thai Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in a surprise raid Wednesday confiscated hundreds of Kwao Kruea tablets and capsules sold at a popular department store in downtown Bangkok. ''Kwao Kruea is not yet registered or approved by the FDA. Distributors of unregistered drugs can face up to two years in jail if courts find them guilty,'' an FDA official told Reuters. She said several producers of Kwao Kruea medications were not registered and had made exaggerated claims in the advertising of their products which could be misleading for consumers. ''Kwao Kruea has now become a popular herb among transvestites and women with small breasts. This is something which the FDA cannot allow to continue,'' she added.

To: PMS Witch who wrote (10105)	6/5/1999 10:04:00 AM
From: PMS Witch	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

A little boy was in Sunday school and told the teacher "My dad says it's always better to give than receive." The teacher stopped the lesson to use this interruption to augment the way of living her Sunday school class was trying to instill. She told the boy that his father was correct, and then asked him what his father did for a living. The boy responded "He's a boxer! He always gives more than he receives!" P.W. P.S. I read this in today's Globe & Mail, in a column about charity. Thought I'd pass it on.