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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jimbo Cobb who wrote (10115)	6/3/1999 4:09:00 PM
From: Sarkie	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

All those who believe in telekinesis raise my hand. -Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. -I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. -OK, so what's the speed of dark? -How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? -If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. -Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. -When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. -Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. -Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. -Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. -I intend to live forever - so far, so good. -24 hours in a day - 24 beers in a case - coincidence? -When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. -What happens if you get scared half to death twice? -I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. -Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? -If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you. -A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. -Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. -To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. -Two wrongs are only the beginning. -The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. -A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. -If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before. -Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow. -If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments. -Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. -Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back. -Half the people you know are below average. -99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. -42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. -A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.